Heroes of the Storm

To the healers!

Due to the horrifying wait times of the last few days I have been forced to roll healer (LiLi) so I can play the game I love in a reasonable time.

Its hell. There is nothing—NOTHING—like scrambling to keep four idiots alive as they spam their cooldowns at different targets. I have watched ranged deeps draw their swords and charge face-first into the teeth of the foe. I have watched mouth gaping as my teammates focus their fire on high hit point meatshields, while kindly ignoring squishies dangling with a sliver of life nearby.

There is nothing like the bare, hopeless ineptitude of a DPS when you are a healer. You can play at adderall levels of murderous efficiency and if your people can’t kill their people then all falls to ruin. Godless, meaningless, pointless ruin.

My point is this. If you are a healer main, you are a deeply good person. You have discovered something true, and amazing…something beautiful and infinite. You have seen past the thin veil of base human sin and awfulness and achieved something greater.

You will never get what you deserve. But I think you know that. And yet you heal all the same. Thank you.

And to all you deeps who accused me of not healing you and failed to notice that I blinded varian precisely when he was going to rend the meat from your bones—go to hell and burn in the lake of fire for eternity.

Godspeed my friends.

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