FIFA 19

I got 99 problems and FIFA is one.

Recently I saw a post on the Battlefield 5 subreddit listing 99 problems about the game, and after yet another horrible weekend league I've realised just how easy it is to make one for FIFA and most of its game modes, so here it is:

Ultimate Team:

  1. Finesse shots are broken.
  2. 180 degree finesse shots not only still exist, but are broken.
  3. Good SBCs and rewards are followed by dreadful ones (Zlatan-Bale), do you guys not communicate?
  4. Adjusting pack weight should be illegal, yet here we are.
  5. The redlist exists.
  6. ST>CDM but no LW>RW.
  7. Is anyone actually having fun playing anymore? Every game is a sweatfest.
  8. How did Gabriel Jesus just get the ball from behind Pogba?
  9. Why are goalkeepers so inconsistent?
  10. Why does a goalkeeper become nearly unusable just because they're 2 inches shorter than others? (Casillas in particular)
  11. Why does my goalkeeper deflect the ball right to Ronaldo's feet rather than putting it over the bar?
  12. Why doesn't my goalkeeper win in the air on corners? He's 6'6 and CAN USE HIS HANDS.
  13. Wow, I'm glad the ball or my players can hit the ref, I'm not annoyed because its realistic.
  14. La croqueta spamming.
  15. Drop back and low depth has replaced/overtook how bad high pressure ever was.
  16. WHO WAS HE PASSING TO THERE? SOMEONE IN THE CROWD MAYBE. No my CM didn't pass to who I'm aiming at, despite his 92 short passing.
  17. Lag in general.
  18. I cant search for individual special cards, which wouldn't annoying if near enough every player didn't have a UCL Card.
  19. Pack weight is truly awful, 100k pack and not even a board? Criminal.
  20. Fitness cards or fitness in general.
  21. Chemistry styles shouldn't be a thing, the card should be the card.
  22. Its been 7 years and we still have no other chemistry links but league and nation, pretty sure Neymar would still like Suarez.
  23. Tackling that player eh? Time to punish you by giving it back to him.
  24. AI is broken, unless my CB is near a player, then he'll just watch him go past and shoot.
  25. I get the Ronaldo is the cover player and has good stats, but he shouldn't make my defence melt like it does.
  26. That weird animation where your goalkeeper doesn't dive, just sort of moves his feet from under himself and flops.
  27. MAKE BANK in the transfer list, unless it's too much bank, then its coin wiping time.
  28. Strange reward systems in Division rivals, eg. better rewards for staying in Rank 2 then grinding for Rank 1.
  29. Players getting to top 100 in WL but no safeguard against only getting awful red picks (84+ only red picks)
  30. "Stay back while attacking? Okay boss I'll ONLY run to the edge of the opponents box this time"
  31. "Come back on defence? I made it to the halfway line, good enough?"
  32. Hot fixes ONLY happen when it could affect EA's income eg, the repeatable ICON SBC.
  33. Ridiculous SBC mistakes, why was Sancho a LM?
  34. My Van Dijk just failed to muscle POTM Lucas off of the ball.
  35. Yellow and Red cards for brushing up on a player? What is the coding for fouls?
  36. My uncontrolled defenders conceding penalties for running into players.
  37. Kick off momentum still exists and you'd struggle to deny that.
  38. Defending a cross is just a gamble, small players out jumping my huge centerbacks.
  39. Players standing still and waiting for the ball to come to them.
  40. Not being able to switch players and running back to my box with my CAM.
  41. How do you get away with lying to us about every patch? These changes don't happen and I'm surprised that it's legal.
  42. Not being able to use 1POTM Reus to put into 2POTM Reus, we all know it was because for some reason you can't seem to or don't want to work out the coding to not just put "A special card", A German" and "A Dortmund player"
  43. With so many employee's why is only Corey and a minimal or other responding to fans.
  44. A player with 70 heading accuracy scores 3 with his head? Plus 3 heading accuracy on his inform. Informs should be personalised for what gave them in inform, including weak foot, skill moves etc.
  45. "Search gold cards" is still and option on the transfers tab.
  46. "Search for players" from a certain nation is still on the transfers tab.
  47. "Score 15 scorpion kick goals for an untradeable guardian chemistry style"
  48. To truly capitalise on WL, Div Rivals and SB you'd have to not play anything else/not have a job or not be in the education system, stop trying to chokehold your audience.
  49. Releasing TOTGS with upgradeable cards then releasing TOTT cards that don't upgrade but look identical to try to trick people into buying packs is criminal.
  50. Did the guy handling scream cards die?
  51. Why do my cards in my team often not have pictures?
  52. Turning 30 like Ribery instantly removes your kneecaps apparently and lose all pace, unless you're Ronaldo of course.
  53. By destroying the pace gap, you've created an even worse pace gap in the midfield.
  54. The most fun I've had in years on FIFA is doing the Martinez and Santi Cazorla challenges, that says a lot.
  55. "Less than 1%" in packs could be 0.99 or 0.0000000000000000000000000000001, well played you snakes.
  56. Inconsistency in my team and gameplay and no explanation as to why. Is it random? Is there a defining reason?
  57. I'm glad I can see how many goals and assists my goalkeeper has.
  58. Would it be too much to have a description on informs explaining why they got one? It's only 23 player and a sentence or two at most. It wouldn't take one person an hour to do. (I'm 30 minutes into this for reference)
  59. Ramos and De Gea will be in every TOTY until FIFA 50, despite whoever is playing better in the world.
  60. The lowest rated FIFA of all time, and those reviews weren't because of Kick Off mode I would bet.
  61. Putting FIFA 19 adverts on the sideline banners to get people playing FIFA 19 to buy FIFA 19.
  62. I used to like the commentary in FIFA, but this year they only have about 6 sayings that they say constantly.
  63. Investing in players and reselling should not be a tightrope walk to avoid getting wiped entirely.
  64. Inconsistency in SBC's especially the leagues.
  65. Why was TOTY Nominee Bale in concepts before he was out? What are you lot doing over there?
  66. What does the composure stat do? We only have guesses, no official explanation.
  67. Fabinho and Kante are worse CDM's then Griezmann and Jesus
  68. Putting adverts for UT into career mode is a truly pathetic move, which transitions us smoothly….
  69. When my player is in front of their player in the box he refuses to jump to head it away.
Read:  Defending Timed Finesse for Beginners

Career Mode:

70: -1 glitch, why is that a thing? Where did it come from?

71: "Negotiations broke down" about 20 times until he manages to go on loan, I understand that there's a work around but there shouldnt have to be.

72: Once again Ronaldo and Messi and the only players to make it past 30 without apparently contracting arthritis

73: Why can't I request a player swap for one of my players?

74: What is that music during cutscenes? This isn't DARK SOULS.

75: 4 save slots since launch and then saying "IT'S JUST SO HARD TO FIX", it's your job right?

76: Why remove the ability to see if a player's on loan from the players search.

77: Why do I have to add a player to my shortlist and then go there to bid on him or find out the club has no intention of selling him?

78: "MATE, YOU'RE 58 RATED, YOU'RE NOT STARTING OVER 94 RATED MBAPPE, STOP EMAILING ME"

79: "We want you to get the treble this year, also start or bring on 10 youth players for 10 games" this doesn't work out.

80: I appreciate the budget increases and all but after the 3rd season in the Premier league my team has more net worth than Microsoft.

81: Waiting a week for a failed transfer is pointless.

82: Managers and Agents REEEEing out of our talks is pointless.

83: Why can't we pay a players return clause to their club when on loan and then bid on them, rather than waiting a year?

84: I understand that EA doesn't make money off of this game mode but its one of the best features of FIFA. Just like…

PRO CLUBS:

85: Easily one of the best game modes on FIFA yet gets little to no support.

86: Drop in matches are the only way to level up players outside of club games. Have you ever played a drop in match?

Read:  Mass Account Banning!

87: "Oh Christ he's got an afro"

88: Bugs like mad, for a few months you could go into a club game and be controlling a CPU player… in pro clubs… you had one job EA

89: I don't know if it was intentional to persuade players to go as "ANY" but CPU players are beyond dreadful, and it's the same all the way up to Division 1, except for the occasional 40 yard volley from them out of nowhere.

90: RIP to anyone who wants to play as a goalkeeper, the movements system is too punishing for them.

91: Only remotely playable when playing with friends, which can very remotely be forgiven, except of course if your friends live more than a block away or the lag will get you. That's right, we can't escape it unless we go offline…

THE JOURNEY:

92: Is this where my other career mode saves went? Saving space for this boring waste of time?

93: It was a fun gimmick in FIFA 18 but that's where it should have been buried, I truly cant name many people who waste their time on this, and I would love to know the stats that show many people have played or completed it.

94: Did EA get the rights to Champions league? Not only is it plastered everywhere but I know for a fact it wasn't called "The Journey CHAMPIONS" by accident.

OTHER:

95: Yes, I do want to load the game up in english today, just like every other day.

96: Why is Ronaldo so shiny? Did he get polished before every photoshoot? Does he sweat grease?

97: I have to do "Basic" skill games first, to then unlock the rest? Really?

98: I have 670,000 FFC coins, the most expensive item in the catalogue is worth 5000, I could buy it 134 times..

99: I'm probably going to buy FIFA 20.

If you read this far, thank you.

Just wanted a bit of a rant. This was sort of a joke but to be honest I'm getting really sick of FIFA at this point and I think I might leave it a while. Let me know what you think or if I missed anything out or was too critical of anything.

Original post


© Post "I got 99 problems and FIFA is one." for game FIFA 19.


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