This may not make sense to literally any other person, and may not be in the slightest bit relatable for anybody else, but I need to vent, so screw it.
There is a certain video game by the name of 'Bioshock Infinite' that gives me very bad nostalgia.
What do I mean? – Well once upon a time, this game was (no exaggeration) my life – I was completely obssessed with it to a very sad degree.
School didn't matter, college didn't matter, friends didn't matter, taking an interest in something else didn't matter – my mind was just fixated on this game (For context, this took place from when I was 16, until about 19 from what I remember – I am 24 now).
I look back on this period of my life with a lot of shame and regret honestly – I had only one friend in all the world (who was honestly a massive dick and a negative force in my life), no girlfriend, not a clue of what to do with my life, and took no interest outside of this game (except a few other video games).
I literally cried and felt down for a while when this games final DLC came out, and I knew it was now dead.
I carried on obssessing about it even after that, and continued placing it as the central thought of my life basically.
It wasn't until the following three events happened that things started to change –
– Games came out which I considered to be better than 'Bioshock Infinite' (which shook my world for a while, knowing that this thing I'd idolised for years had been beaten in my own mind)
– I found a genuine interest in the subjet of politics in college, which opened up a whole new world for me and gave me something real to be super interested in (and something not only admirable but full of career opportunities)
– I went to University, met new people, improved my confidence in myself and my abilities, saw more of the world, learnt so much new stuff, and finally got a girlfriend.
These three things eventually shook the hold this game had on me, and I basically just unconsciously left it behind, without really meaning to do so.
It has been nearly four years since I have even touched the game, and my life is in a much better place than it was back in the 'dark days' as I have described.
I have an amazing job, a girlfriend, a large circle of amazing friends, more confidence in myself, far more restraint and just overall live a better life now that I did 5-6 years ago.
Problem is, I've recently had more spare time on my hands (thanks to COVID) and have been playing video games and such more than I have been in recent years.
I am tempted to go back and replay the game in question (Bioshock Infinite), but I have so much bad nostalgia surrounding this game that I feel I can't.
The game reminds me of the bad times – the bad friend, the no life, the zero ambition, the futilitiy of those years, the obssession with something that isn't even real, the just overall sad way I was.
I am proud of myself for not touching this game for like 4 years, and becoming a better person with it out of my life.
But I am tempted to go back and play it, if only to prove to myself that the hold it had over me is broken, and that the game just isn't honestly that good.
But at the same time, I just don't want to be reminded of the bad times I associate with this game.
Any advice or just general thoughts people?
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