Fallout

Funniest PVP I have EVER seen!

fallout 5 - Funniest PVP I have EVER seen!

I have a great story, and it's just so damn funny that I have to share.

I was at the Abandoned Bog Town workshop, just passing by, and I see a team of lower-level people. A 20-something and a 50 and 60-something are fighting off some cave crickets. I HATE those little bastards. So I figure I'll run over and help out, get a little food, water, and stims for joining in. Well, they were apparently of the opinion those crickets were THEIRS, god damn it! And I was not welcome. They all started shooting at me. Now, I have some OK pvp gear. No assassins sentinel stuff or TSE god guns for griefing low-levels who don't know to slap on fire-proof, lone wanderer, shoot some Med-x and turn the tables. But I DO have a nice piece of chameleon armor, a VATS crit build, and an instigating BP rifle… So I ran up to their workbench and contested it, which dropped us all into PVP. My guess is they thought they could get me to shoot back and gang up on me. After that I popped a stealth boy and ran up a building (the big one behind the workshop, but still just inside the CAMP boundary), sat still so chameleon engaged, and started picking them off with headshots. These guys had no idea where I was, how I kept killing them, and were all talking about it on open chat! So they keep seeking vengeance and coming up with all these elaborate plans for finding and killing me, but I'm hearing every word. And meanwhile, every so often, one gets too close and I blow his head off from stealth. It really wasn't fair, but seeing as they tried to bait and gangbang me, I was amused. Plus they kept feeding me 100-200 caps every time I shot one. So the funniest part:

These guys tried orbital strikes where they thought I was. They tried spamming explosive weapons at shadows. One got cute and threw a few of those grenades that detects you. One of them got up in that big monorail train at Pylon V-13 and says he's providing "overwatch" to look for me through his scope while the others move in. They even tried a coordinated 3-person blanket grenade barrage of frags, cryos, plasmas, and those EMP grenades. They must have spammed 30 grenades between them. And I was just sitting still on the highest roof of the apartment building, nothing even coming close, occasionally drilling one of these clowns in the head, and laughing so hard at them yelling over public chat I was almost pissing myself! I must have made 2k caps off them, but they just REFUSED to give up. They started asking for me to come out, saying stupid shit like "I have a plate of cookies for you!", and it reminded me of the raiders from Fallout 4 saying dumb shit like that while they were searching, and I lost it even more! I had to back away from the keyboard, wipe the tears out of my eyes from laughing so hard, and calm down.

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Finally, they left and I claimed the workshop. I went about my business as usual, but ten or so minutes later, I get a notification that one of the guys is contesting my workshop. "Oh, so you still want to play?" I thought. Ok, challenge accepted. Round 2 commences.

Turns out they went and found two other higher level players, over the hundreds, one higher than me, so now there were 5 of them. I contested to stop the capture, coming in from the town behind the workshop and going right back to my old perch. I can STILL hear them all talking over open chat. One of their cheeky new friends has a chameleon build of his own, but he's bad at it, so I get him while he's moving and one-shot dome the guy. One eventually gets wise and climbs up on my rooftop looking for me, but he walks by within feet and gets shot in the back of the head for his trouble. So FINALLY after another good 20 minutes of this (I had to feed myself and drink water 3 times this went on for so long, and these dudes haven't even seen me but once or twice the whole time.), listening in on their hilarious chat, I get accused of cheating, of course, and being reported, and all the normal salt, when THE most spectacular thing I have ever seen happens:

Two of them leave, then come back and are talking about "Use the Fatman." No shit, they had 4 fatman launchers with MIRV attachments, spaced themselves out around the workshop, one dude counted down and THEY ALL STARTED SPAMMING MIRVs! It was spectacular! The workshop was entirely blanketed in nuclear detonations, repeatedly. Everything was shaking, roaring, and flashing. But they never hit the top of the building I was on, so I'm just sitting there in total awe, watching with my jaw dropped and laughing again! When the firestorm ended, every extractor, generator, stash box, work station, and water purifier in the workshop had been vaporized. Everything these guys had built before I claimed it was just GONE. 3 of them have bounties. High ones. I'm hearing "How the fuck did that not get him!?!?" and "He HAS to be cheating!" and then…"Oh, shit guys I have a bounty!" "Me too, wtf? We only destroyed our own stuff…". Then I drop the ringleader with a headshot. I only get half caps. I shoot his buddy with my lever action before he can run off. Half caps again. These guys have completely bankrupted themselves trying to kill me, and probably spent THOUSANDS more caps on all the time, chems, stims, grenades, food, water, and ammo they expended trying to get one guy just sitting still on a roof! I was laughing so loud I probably woke my neighbors. 🙂

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So after that, one guy suggests they all go to another server (Duh! Should have done that before you went broke trying to kill one man who had no bounty after YOU started the hostilities…), they yelled a few "Bye cheater!" parting insults, and logged off. At the end I'm sitting above the smoking ruins of this base nearly 5k caps richer just hardly even able to believe what just happened. I have never regretted not having something on tape more in my life!

It was…glorious.

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