I am playing Fallout 4 through again and I wanted to do my very own ending: The Minutemen and the Brotherhood coexist. So, to do this, it all started with working with both factions simultaneously. Danse let me in like the adorable stray dog I was and I helped him create his hype-booster so he can summon his gang of hypebeasts to the Commonwealth, all the while I recruit shitty village after settlement using their sense of obligation towards me because I helped them clap the cheeks of whatever was bothering them.
One dead Mr.Clean later and the Brotherhood of Hype appear in the Commonwealth aboard their phallic symbol ready to dick down the wasteland while me and the chocolate cowboy take back the Castle while I undoubtedly do all the work taking down the Mirelurk Queen as these assholes brought laser BB guns. I was forced to go to the Clowns to have the Courser chip decoded but then immediately fucked off back to my Hypebeast leader and had him help me build the teleporter. Once I met with my son, Benjamin Button, I decided to do some oddjobs for him and the Brotherhood and the Minutemen all at the same time. By order of my Supremetm Leader, I slaughtered the Clowns in their dumb ass church because I and the Minutemen will be the liberator of Synths from now on. It was going well until the Brotherhood had me build their Lego-Bot and both the Institute and them wanted this nuclear dildo to power stuff. After careful consideration, I had to stay true to my Supremetm Leader and decided to get the dildo for them. But, surprise surprise, I was kicked out of Benjamin Button's underground club. My sexy chocolate cowboy wanted to talk to me about the matter and he was eager to clap some white-suited cheeks. Never being one to say no to a good pounding, me and the Cowboy Cavalry invade and absolutely take a dump on the Institute and, in the end, I decided to fill the empty void in my heart with a mail-order son that is programmed to do nothing but give me worthless mods for junk that is worth way more than the mods he produces. I revel in my victory as I hold the dildo that is meant to go into the Lego-Man's backside, rendering him literally useless and the Brotherhood is forced to gaze at my Minuteman Magnum Dong and not do a damn thing as I have ultimately brought peace to to the Commonwealth and secured free living for humans and Synths alike…and the occasional Super Mutant. The Paladin of the Brotherhood and the General of the Minutemen became bored so he decided to become a private eye with his new* Synth Sidekick and search for a confused girl to take home…I promise it's not what it sounds like.
This journey brings me north to the island I call Satan's Cataracts because this is hell and I can't see for shit, a.k.a. Far Harbor. I do some mundane crap for the crybabies of the Harbor, get DiMA to commit honorable seppuku for his war crimes, and I carry out the will of Molecule or whatever.
Now this is where the title comes in, I am at an impass and can't please everyone. Before DiMA bit the dust, I found out where he was hiding the nuclear key so I can blow my load all over the Kids of Molecules and I also got the codes to turn off the Fog Condensers around Satan's Cataracts and completely drown everyone in humidity. I told the Captain at Far Harbor about the codes and she politely asked me to not use them. "K, I don't want to because I have investments and settlements here" I say. I go to the Kids and I give their sickly father the nuclear key as a sign of good will…but there was no option to negotiate between the Harbor and the Kids. I figured "what the hell, I'll just go to this condenser control building". After getting sliced up by Kinkbots, I found that the only option I have is to turn them off. I don't want to do that because 1) I will lose my settlements and will deal a decent economic blow to the New Minuteman Republic (name pending) and 2) those condensers are an amazing source of Oil which I desperately need to keep my settlements autonomously defended because no one but me can shoot for shit. The quest literally only gives me the option to turn off the condensers to complete it, even after killing all of the Children and attempting to take back the nuclear key it is just gone forever. So what are my options if any? Do I just finish the quest? What happens to all 4 settlements I have on this godforsaken island?
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