Fallout 76 is my first multi-player battle royale game and as such I'm learning a lot about microphone etiquette. Thought I'd share what I've learned.
– How's your breathing? Video games can be pretty exciting, best to let your teammates monitor your wellbeing by breathing as heavily into the microphone as possible. That way they can detect any early signs of hyperventilation and contact the appropriate medical professionals.
– Do you need to cough? Cough directly into the microphone so your teammates can know what a trooper you are, playing the game despite currently dying of tuberculosis. It will endear you to the team, and dare I say, make you an inspiration. Never apologize or acknowledge you're coughing directly into the mic as that would make it awkward for all involved.
– Are there screaming children in your home? If so, make sure they are sitting in your lap while you play. After all, they grow up so fast and you (and your teammates) don't want to miss a moment of it. It's a little thing called parenting and you're a gem for sharing it with the squad.
– Is someone sitting next to you IRL? Have a conversation with them for the entirety of the match, especially if the conversation is about something completely unrelated to the game. Giving your teammates a peek into your life is more important than using the mic to coordinate offensive or defensive maneuvers in game.
– Is no one sitting next to you IRL and boy are you lonely about that? Have a one sided conversation with your teammates about every single match you've ever played and the wacky thing that happened in each one of them. Those anecdotes are more valuable to your teammates in the long run than working together to win the current match.
– Is your television volume set to the absolute maximum? Ideally you should have the television as loud as possible so that every little sound of your gameplay activates your mic, allowing your teammates to hear not only their gameplay but also yours for a truly immersive out of sync gaming experience.
– Is it a little…too quiet? Liven up the session by listening to your favorite music loud enough that it triggers your mic and that it comes through in random blurps to your teammates. Everyone knows the best way to enjoy anything is through sporadic 10 second audio chunks.
– Have nothing to say but still NEED to say SOMETHING? Have a soundboard full of wacky quotes from movies and tv shows and fire those babies off randomly and for no discernible reason whatsoever. A lot of people have a lot of opinions on what is wrong with Fallout 76, but without a doubt the one that everyone agrees on is that it doesn't take place inside a radio station during the drive time morning zoo.
Hope these help other newbs like myself to be a part of the wonderful battle royale gaming community.
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