Far Cry 5

Am I the only one who’s underwhelmed to the point of fury by Far Cry 5’s plot?

FarCry4 - Am I the only one who's underwhelmed to the point of fury by Far Cry 5's plot?

Honestly, I'm just pissed off about the piss-poor quality of the main-game writing. Can't believe the creative director guy was part of Bioshock Infinite!

Okay, perhaps I really hate BI as well.

Regardless, they went off in a really weird direction with it. Am I the only non-Christian who thinks it should take so much as a sliver of effort in actually portraying Christianity instead of just screaming sinner in your ear every 10 secs or showing cultist touting guns?

There is so much poeticness, so much grandeur, so much melodrama, and so much honest-to-god tragedy in the Bible. So much to draw inspiration from. And they did nothing. Absolutely nothing.

#RANT BEGINS#

Oh, so it's a game about a cult. 'Kay, since we Montrealian fake-french are atheist as hell, let's make Christians really sadistic, 'cause ya know, religious people are scary, that mommy'n'daddy told us since we are cute little babies. They love the Bible, they love them guns, they carry people off so that they can forcibly convert them. SHOOT THEM UP! Wait-what? You say Joseph Seed actually hears God in his ears and is right all along? How the fu*k should we try to pull that off? Ahah! Surprise! Everyone gets nuked in the end. Joseph Seed is right, ta-dah. O so profound, o the mockery of the player's so-called free-will. We can definitely put together a trailer that looks good, Ubi-style! And boy would it sell. Job's don-wait-what? You say there're three more baddies to write? How the fu*k could we, proud leftist liberals, in all our infinite intellectual capacities, be able to dream up not one, not two, but three different kinds of Christian evil? We can barely do one, already! But, you're le patron so it's your call. John is a masochist, Jacob is an Iraqi veteran (ewwwww!), and let's throw in a hippie drug addict-something that does the whatchamacallit evil deed that we don't have a clear idea of what it should be. But let there be mind-control, zombies, oh-, and, and, et butterflies! Quoi? You say there should be more attention to details? Comment pouvez-vous être si ennuyeux! Look, we borrowed a book from the library which tells that Scopolamine (and there's an Org Chem PhD guy who is just happy to not be unemployed that is one of our coders who reluctantly corroborates this when held at gunpoint) is a drug that CIA once used to interrogate prisoners, so it should do whatever the fu*k the plot wants it to do ('cus CIA is evil and runs the world with black-ops). And Datura metel is purty, so this will be our magic flower. The reddit PhD nerds will surely dig into this and praise us! CAN YOU JUST FU*KING STOP DEMANDING THERE BE BACK STORIES ABOUT THE VILLAINS? THEY'RE EVIL BECAUSE THEY'RE ONCE HURT AND WANT REVENGE ON THE WORLD, AND THAT'S WHAT HOLLYWOOD ALWAYS USES AS AN OMNIPOTENT EXCUSE SO WE CAN'T BE BLAMED FOR THAT, 'MKAY! WHAT? You say they are not just pure sadists but has this Christian purpose-prophecy thing going, as per the plot demands? Sorry mate, never a thought on that. So we are just gonna make them really annoying for the entire gameplay, and make Joseph Seed go shirtless and say a mucous eulogy. Oh, and, look we got a cult-guy to advise us and show up on collector extras to tell everyone how dangerous and American cults are, and we watch Jonestown: Terror in the Jungle three times! Add to all that guns, bombs, rocket launchers, MG-trucks and WWII fighters galore, and voila! Far cry 5 is born! DID WE JUST MENTION WE ACTUALLY WENT TO MONTANA INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING IN OFFICES? HOW DEVOTED ARE WE!

#RANT ENDS#

I can literally hear them thinking when playing the game. When all they need to do is just to open the Bible and have a fu*king read, and it will be painstakingly clear that they can not just reuse the old mechanism yet again, because it will introduce the irreconcilable contradictory feel, because the mere mention of religion confers a sense of seriousness upon the storytelling, because people would automatically assume it's heavy stuff, and start paying real attention. Not to mention a huge percentage of players' gonna be 'muricans! But of course, they would never do that. Because who on earth really wants a Christian game? I'm no Christian, but I'm sad that such a good motif got wasted on lackluster storytelling, and that no one will ever make such an attempt ever again. And lord do I fear what New Dawn would look like.

Read:  Far Cry New Dawn - Closure to Hope County's saga

If we agree that if you do a duck game, you at least very remotely hope that it should be about ducks, not rubber ducks on a child's drawing, then we should agree that a cult game should at least make an attempt at first being a cult, then sympathize or demonize it. And Far Cry 5 can not even do the being-a-cult part properly!

There is a highlight though. The music is a real treat, largely because it's from an independent artist given the freedom of doing an independent job so we got relatively unspoiled greatness. The soundtrack has this real Christian vibe when there is next to none in the game.

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