HearthStone

My pet Chimpanzee is the exact market Blizzard is aiming for.

hearthstone 4 - My pet Chimpanzee is the exact market Blizzard is aiming for.
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Hey guys,

I know there's constant talk here about the game not being very competitive friendly because Blizzard wants to milk as much money as humanly possible from the mobile market. I used to think that theory was wrong, but after trained my chimp to play hearthstone (since he always saw me playing it on my phone), I began to realize it was actually true. Here are some things my chimp (as a completely casual player) does on a daily basis:

  • He does not netdeck. He is a chimpanzee with no access to the internet and rudimentary reading skills on his good days.

  • He gets fed up after the occasional losing streak and will buy a pack or two followed by throwing poo at the walls of his enclosure if there were no epics or legendaries.

  • He fucking LOVES the random RNG. I actually explained to him how most competitive players would like it to be mostly removed from the game, and his response was loud shrieking and bared teeth.

  • He has never, and probably will never play ranked. He has probably never tried pressing the button.

  • He constantly forgets to attack with minions that are on the board, forgets to hero power with extra mana, etc.

  • He doesn't actually improve or make any attempt to improve. It's just a 5 – 10 minute game to play between our lab tests.

  • He's actually afraid to buy an adventure because he's not good enough to beat the computer so he buys packs instead. We usually just load up a prepaid credit card to see what he buys for shits and giggles.

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  • He only plays on mobile. This is a major point because I believe he thinks it is just a mobile game. This is mostly because we don't let him play games on the computer, because the last thing I want is a 130 lbs chimpanzee wrecking a eight hundred dollar PC in a temper tantrum.

This is who Blizzard mostly wants to cater to. Over the course of 6 – 12 months they will probably siphon out a reasonable chunk of money from my pet chimp in packs. He will get bored and move on, but the cycle will continue with another boosted monkey just like him. We make jokes about new features being confusing for new players, but honestly? If any more were added they could genuinely confuse my pet chimp. He still doesn't understand tavern brawl, and it's been months.

He's only 13, so he is by no means an > or anything. I offer my help and advice pretty consistently to try and help him get better, but he just doesn't really want it. He just wants to play and experiment on his own, being under average forever. The weird thing is…he seems to enjoy the game much more than me or most people on hearthstone :^)

Stolen from /u/4THOT

Source: Original link


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