I don't know about you, but I for one am sick and tired of seeing deck winrates and meta analysis about the best way to reach legend or where to netdeck or how to roleplay Warcraft correctly through a card game I WILL PLAY HOW I WANT AND THAT MEANS SENDING A MESSAGE AND THE MESSAGE IS "LOSING IS FUN"
Here's the WORST decks of Rasta-CAN'T's Rumble!
Uh oh! You friccin moron! You just got GONKED! It's not a gnelf, it's not a gnoblin, it's GONK and you've been GONKED! (gonk your friends)
Gyong took a MALYGONK Druid to #1 legend but that's just because Gyong is literally God.
Quest Anything (Except, Obviously, Quest Rogue)
Quest Mage? BAD. Quest Paladin? BAD. Quest Hunter? BAD. Quest Priest? BAD. Quest Warlock? So bad, it has its own section below!
Quest Rogue? #1 LEGEND BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Holy Wrath, this deck will make your opponent's wrath their pants when you hit them for 25 damage, then do it again, and then dump 4 friccin SHIRO tigers on the board I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME CAN'T ODD WARRIOR BEAT ANY COMBO DECKS C'MON
Uh oh! You friccin moron! You wish you got Gonked, but no, it's worse, it's so so so much worse, it's your free loa, Hir'eek, and Hir'eek's just here to ruin your day and GET BUFF.
This deck doesn't even have a name. Handbufflock? Buff'dan? SWOLlock? Bat'dan? HSReplay has gone with the simple "Low Winrate Zoo."
APM Priest (49.6%)
If you are a scientific abomination produced by a top secret government laboratory to make a child from the genetic material of Einstein and Lebron James, then you are Dog and took this to #1 legend (and you should take off your shirt).
FeelsBadMan has never been so FeelsGoodMan! Watch your precious win conditions BURN before your eyes! Watch your insurance policies BURN before your eyes! Experience TWO delicious layers of RNG, trying to draw your discard synergy legendaries, and then trying to discard your discard synergy legendaries! SO MANY LEGENDARIES. The best discolock deck (not saying much) costs a mere 16500 dust! Why craft 16 good legendaries when you can MEME?!?! Why? Why? Why? Why did I do this?
Go Go Pogo Rogue-o (31.40%)
I will not dignify this archetype with a description.
WHIZBANG. THE ONE. THE ONLY. EVEN PIRATES? CONCEDE TO MADNESS? GONK AND HIR'EEK? Expansion after expansion of crap! Crafting Golden Whizbang lets you strike fear in your opponent's heart from your sheer belief in the heart of the cards.
Really though you can take any of these decks to legend (excluding Pogo Rogue) and it'd be WORTH IT.
© Post "The WORST Decks of Rastakhan’s Rumble" for game HearthStone.
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