‘Twas the Night before Shadows

hearthstone 1 - 'Twas the Night before Shadows

Welcome back everyone! Hope you're as ready for this blast-from-the-past expansion as I am. If you want to check out previous 'Night Before' poems (because why wouldn't you?) here they are:

'Twas the Night Before Boomsday

'Twas the Night Before Witchwood

'Twas the Night Before Kobolds

'Twas the Night Before Icecrown

'Twas the Night Before Rastakhan

Now, without further adieu:



‘Twas the night before Shadows

Arose from the west,

While the city of Dalaran

Hovered silent – at rest –


Unaware of the schemes

Of the felonious five

Which were growing each turn

While their Lackies connived.


Then with a cackle

As she peered in her jewel

“The hour is here”

Said Madam Lazul .


Rafaam nodded and sneered

At Hagatha looking freakish,

“Soon their magic will be—"


Togg and the Doctor looked sheepish.


Their trip wire was tripped,

So much for 'The Plan',

The hench clan rush in

The siege of Dalaran began!


The first to the fray

Was Boom and his bots,

Sneaking bombs into decks

Punishing hands and their locks.


Rising to meet them

Was the twinspelling Druid,

His ramping skills crippled

His class identity fluid.


"I’ll heal and I’ll heal

And you’ll be sad then!"

“Oh yeah,” said Dr. Boom

“That worked SO great for paladin”


Next to the battle:

King Toggwaggles rogues,

With their pirate core solid

('cause old mechanics are in vogue)


"Oh yeah?" Asked hunter –

"That mean me go face?"

"Sorry," said Togg

"That’s now shamans place."


So hunter tried spell damage

Which frankly felt wrong

So he embraced his deathrattle

And succumbed to Obliv’tron.


Hunter down, then came mages.

Mighty Kalecgos stood tall.

Their spell power was large!

But their spells were all small.


"I’ll conjure some dudes!"

Said Khadgar in a blizzard,


But two doomsayers confirmed it –

He’s still a pretty shit wizard.


Meanwhile with a hiss

From a poorly drawn snake,

Came priests with their seer

And the dead did awake.


"You thought we had changed,

That’d we’d try something clever

But the future is clear

You’ll face Big priest forever!"


Meanwhile in the woods,

Of the long-ignored Wild,

Barnes readied his bullshit,

And with his punchable face, smiled.


Soon the paladins revolted –

"Our odd decks are banished.

You try to push dragons,

But we have a secret advantage."


The other decks quivered

At this long forgot menace.

"Who are you?" said Lazul?

The reply? “None of your business.”


In a final burst of EVIL

Came Rafaam and the Witch

With murlocs and imps –

And then the plot switched!


While the archaeologist

was turning decks into legends,

Came a balloonish shape

From a distant direction.


It was Gepetto Joybuzz

His face without fear

"I’ll keep Malygos in standard

For a whole ‘nother year!"


The fiendish five paled

This thing could not stand

“We’ll print anti combo –

No more cheating from hand”


But Toggwaggle laughed,

Shaking his gut like pink Santa,

"Sorry suckers but I’m stealin' all your new cards,

And make em all cost 1 mana.


“On Boomreaver, and Sunreavers and new shit to silence,

on mountseller, on fel lords & a new neutral highmane.”


Then with a gleam of his glittering flame,

Toggwaggle copied himself with his low tempo scheme,

And the villains all cried out,

"What we can’t steal we’ll borrow!

Merry year of the dragon

We’ll see y’all tomorrow!"


Source: Original link

© Post "‘Twas the Night before Shadows" for game HearthStone.

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