Hello Blizzard Dev, who is certainly currently reading this. Pray, I hope you take seriously the following text. May it please your eyes and tickle your fancy. For I am here to extol the virtues of a 1v1 dueling map.
It would be truly awesome as a basic training tool, for people to understand who they can and cannot fight with once the fight becomes one to one. Shall I engage at the edge of a team fight upon an enemy who lays separate from all others? If only I had experienced such a situation previously! If there was a dueling map, it would have been so.
Begone yonder fiend who rely on the blame game! Those who say "T'was the fault of another" shall be banished completely from the dueling map! Your failures shall be you own! No man, or woman, shall be able to balk at your clumsy gaze, for they shall not exist upon the dueling map! You shall understand the depths of your failure, and the weakness of your character to the full extend! This is both a blessing and a curse.
And it'd be laugh, wouldn't it? Eh? Just a jolly good time where you pick a guy and they've picked a guy and what happens who knows? Do you Devs, blessed be your name, even know? I bet you don't. You've been in this League of Legends space, with lanes and what not, for awhile. But you like maps, don't you? Eh? Yeah?
You could make this map dead easy! DEAD easy. Pop into your toolkit, draw a box. Limit the team count to 1, bob's you uncle! You could even make it the anomaly or the season event or whatever you want! We all know you're just trying to keep things fresh and interesting, blessed be you and all that you do, and this would keep things fresh and interesting!
The drama's built in to every fight! You have them fight, to the death, each talent tier. If that's all you did it's a best of seven. Four wins, and the game ends. Maybe you get blown out? Maybe later wins are worth more? Who the fuck knows because no one's actually doing this!
Why is no one actually doing this Game Developers, blessed be thee? Why is it that I can play League of Legends, Dota, and Hots, but I can't actually just duel someone? Do I have to load up a game of Diablo, level up a character, and find a dueling game? You have fucking…. hold on let me look… EIGHTY EIGHT?????? You have eighty eight characters that could be ground through a whole dueling narrative!
Can you imagine the meta bullshit that this community will come up with? What if someone writes an article about it? Has another MOBA done dueling? FUCKING NO! Because they suck. You don't suck. You're awesome sexy Game Designers, you have dedicated their lives to pursuit of digital awesomeness. You've been absolutely crushing it so far. How about you crush it into the uncharted territory of MOBA Dueling.
Draw a box. Limit the character choice to one. Explode my face with the size of your huge balls. Blessed be thee.
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© Post "Shamefully Extolling the Virtues of a 1v1 Dueling Map" for game Heroes of the Storm.
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