Want to speak like Kindred? I've put my math degree to use and found out exactly how and am sharing it to you all.
So playing some Kindred, I noticed her lines all have a specific…"pattern". Yes, they're all somber, end with pitch going upwards etc. but there's something even more formulaic. I did some meta-analysis and discovered an important mathematical theory that I call the Kindred Reconstructed Allegory Pattern (KRAP) that is absolutely **generalized** and works for any conversation topic.
The formula is;
K = (SD + UWC*H(t-1) + DM(t) + PO*H(n))*P*t
Kindred Line = (Somber dialogue) + (unacknowledge reply from wolf at some time before the death metaphor) + (death metaphor increasing in intensity if mentioned later in the conversation) + (paused one-liner activated at some time n>t, multiplied by proportional increasing in pitch). H(t) is the heaviside function, which is nonzero at time t.
The screenplay is simple, first image Lamb sitting on a cliff staring slightly downwards to the horizon, with wolf looking in the same direction behind but no eye contact (this is important). Lamb then starts somberly talking about any topic, which wolf gives some obvious reply, then Lamb MUST not acknowledge the reply as correct and say some extension of it as a metaphor for some somber aspect of life. Then lamb will turn her head and look at wolf, dramatic pause, and drop a one liner about some romanticized notion of death. Then turns away, never making eye contact to Wolf. Walk away. Drop mic. Exeunt. (NO smiling, must have that "cool guys don't look at explosions look" to increase dramatization).
To give an example of KRAP in use, I use a random noun generator to generate a topic. I got "hair" as the noun. Plug it into the KRAP formula.
Scene begins with Lamb sitting next to Wolf, not making eye contact****NO EYE CONTACT, must stare longingly to the distance Lamb: Wolf, hair is a peculiar thing... SOME WOLF QUOTE THAT TALKS LIKE A REGULAR PERSON Wolf: We have over a million! SOMBER LITERARY FIGURE Lamb: Yet they flow in their own paths, detached but forced together SOMBER REFERENCE TO DEATH Lamb: Each strand has its end and a beginning, one day both will be shed from it's Earth, forgotten in a sea of others. Do you know why that is wolf? Wolf: Everything must die! Lamb: Yes. And everything will leave this place DRAMATIC TURN TO WOLF FOR EYE CONTACT, INCREASED PITCH OF VOICE Lamb. Eventually. MIC DROP, LEAVE, DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE THE EXISTENCE OF THE OTHER PERSON IN THE DIALOGUE
Okay you might say "well yeah that works for like one thing" so I did it again with another noun generated and I got "Fax".
Lamb: The machines cry out. Wolf: The fax machines? That's what just their process--- Lamb: Yet are often ignored after their first cries. Lamb: Everyone has a story to tell. But many echo in silence until they eventually Wolf: It's a fu*king fax mach--- Lamb: Fade away.
Don't want a noun? Fine. Still could work. Random word generator gives me "illustrate"
Lamb: Wolf, do you consider yourself an artist? Wolf: I love painting landscape like Bob Ross. Lamb: But what do you illustrate? Wolf: I illustrate landscapes. Lamb: A frame in the expanse life of art. You illustrate not the moment, but the story of Earth in the window of your eyes. Wolf: ...motherfu-- Lamb: Stories cry out, stories feel, and stories... Wolf: SIGH Lamb: Always end.
I think the KRAP is really useful for everyday use and conversation. Now we can all sound like 18th century poets.
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