League of Legends

I’ve played MOBAs for 8 years and I still don’t know how to get better. It’s starting to make me sad. I’m so desperate for help.

LeagueofLegends13 - I've played MOBAs for 8 years and I still don't know how to get better. It's starting to make me sad. I'm so desperate for help.
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I'm a Gold 2/3 player. I played Heroes of Newerth on and off for 6 years. I've played League on and off for 2 years now. All starting December 2012.

In HoN I started off at 1200 MMR (extremely low, comparable to Iron) and at some point I was randomly able to climb all the way to 1500. Eventually 1600 and I never moved from there. Once Leagues were introduced to HoN I got to Diamond 1 or 2 in Season 2 and that was my peak. I've been hardstuck gold ever since. I was Silver 2 in League for a long time until I started learning the game more. I was unfamiliar with League specific things for a long time despite having some MOBA fundamentals that most new League players lack.

My frustration is that I almost feel like I don't learn. I'll have days and games where I absolutely pop off and carry but I rarely feel I did it by myself and it wasn't influenced by good teammate decisions. I don't feel I have any macro play at all and am not aware or thinking about anything in the game. I see a lane and I farm it, I know an objective is coming up so I prepare for it, but I'm not honing in on micro/macro decisions like I feel I should be at this point. I feel so stupid. I know when I make mistakes, I rarely flame anyone (one of the main reasons I switched to League is due to HoN's infamously toxic community) and even then I feel bad for blaming teammates or flaming when I know I make mistakes all the time. It's usually fueled by frustration with many lost games in a row that I feel I had no control over, or anything I could do about.

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I even know I'm capable of being good at something so it's not like I have absolutely ZERO confidence. I played fighting games semi professionally despite putting a hundredth of the time in them. I've only played two fighting games including the one I competed in (DBFZ) and was among the best players in my area. I was the top 1% in the country. Even then I lost the ability to improve there. The same "wall". Most of this was my inability to commit to hardcore lab training. Recording 8 different blockstrings and practicing them for hours. I couldn't do it. For some reason games like League just don't click the same. I'm nervous it's one of those things I should just give up on being good at.

What do I do? What the hell is wrong with me? Do I just give up? Am I just a broken person? And does anyone else also experience this? It's really starting to get me down.

EDIT: Wow. I was not expecting so many comments, advice and encouragement. I work mostly 10 hour days and 1st shift. I will have to wait until after work to read everything and reply to as much as possible. I appreciate all the support. As well as those who have messaged me personally about coaching. It definitely makes me feel more confident that I can do this.

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