League of Legends

Potential Reason for North America’s Poor Performance at Worlds

LeagueofLegends8 - Potential Reason for North America's Poor Performance at Worlds
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Reasons for NA's repeated failures have proliferated for years throughout the League community. High ping, long queue times, streaming "personalities" contributing to low quality games, lack of home grown talent, the list goes on and on. Every year these same problems are brought up without resolve, yet are they truly the cause of NA's failure?

 

I believe I have discovered a more sinister reason for this failure, one that I don't think anyone has considered: Canadians are actively sabotaging the LCS.

 

I know what you're thinking, "Canadians? Aren't they supposed to be the nicest people in the world? Why would they intentionally make the LCS look like that guy at a party who claims he can drink you under the table but you find him passed out two hours later with phallic imagery drawn all over his face in permanent marker?" It sounds surreal, but the evidence for this exists if you look exactly where I tell you to.

 

First, we have to take a look at the Canadians who primarily started in the Summer Split:

 

TeamPlayer
Cloud9Licorice
Cloud9Vulcan
FlyQuestWildturtle
100 ThievesCodySun
100 ThievesPoome
TSMBiofrost
DignitasViper
DignitasJohnsun
CLGSmoothie
ImmortalsAltec

 

How many players is that? Those of you who can count would tell me 10. That's 20% of the LCS starting players, a substantial number considering the region imports a large proportion of retirees players from Europe and South Korea. In fact, if we look at the percentage of regions represented in NA, we get an interesting result:

 

Region/Country of OriginNumber of players
United States Of America19
Canada10
South Korea9
Europe8
Turkey2
Oceania2

 

The astute reader will notice that there are quite a few Canadians in proportion to the number of Americans, especially considering the population difference between the two nations. Clearly, Canada seems to output a higher number of Pros per Population (PP) than that of the US. The Canadian PP comes in at 0.26 P/MP, while the abysmal PP of the US is 0.058 P/MP. That means that Canadians output 5x more PP than Americans! So the question is, if there is so much PP in Canada, why don't we see this reflected in World's victories?

 

The reason is that they are, within extreme intent, limiting themselves and their teammates to poor performances at critical moments. Examples of this are plentiful. Biofrost's extremely suspect Level 1 flash on Alistar against Fnatic earlier this week, Licorice and Vulcan's sudden "slump" at the end of the regular summer split, CodySun's infamous flash at Worlds several years prior. Wildturtle doing Wildturtle things. Sprinkled like confetti throughout the history of the LCS, these incidents pop up everywhere. But if they are genuinely bad players, how are they ending up on some of the top teams? Receiving top dollar paychecks? Getting hyped up again and again by analysts? I believe that these incidents are coordinated sabotages with scope beyond just that of the LCS.

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Their goal? To depress and break down the spirit of Americans so much that they surrender to Canadian sovereignty

 

It sounds impossible, but Einstein told us that there are infinite possibilities in infinite universes, so its clearly possible. This is a situation that has been becoming more and more likely, and reflects an inversion of Manifest Destiny. Once held by the US, it now lies in polite (and suspiciously quiet) Canadian hands.

 

What is Manifest Destiny? Wikipedia defines it as "a widely held American imperialist cultural belief in the 19th-century United States that American settlers were destined to expand across North America." It was once believed that Canada would fall under control of the US, and thus the Americans invaded on several particularly noteworthy occasions. Thwarted by the Canadians (with the help of the British), their White House burned and tattered, they gave up. After a time, peace settled in the land, and the US thought that Canada had forgiven and forgotten. Little did they know, a plan was hatched that would not only lead to the current US political climate (oof), but would also utilize sporting leagues to further sow chaos.

 

The objective, as far as I have been able to discern, is to get the people of America to feel defeat and depression, day after day, unending. The Canadians in the LCS have been helping this along, secretly breaking down morale within the league. Europeans (just as the British helped the Canadians before!) accelerate this breakdown, dropping savage memes that lack any hint of empathy. This is forcing Americans to look inward, and then outward, for their salvation. And that salvation shall be through annexation by Canada.

 

I have no idea how it will end. Most likely Isaac "Literally a World Champion" "Azael" "Actual Canadian" Cummings Bentley will begin tweeting innocuous things like "Wow, I'm really missing Canada and their free healthcare!" or "Wouldn't it be cool if we all said 'eh'?" These tweets will highlight the instantiation of the final phase of the overtaking.

 

So the final question is, what can American's do about it? First step would probably increase their PP to a healthy level. Perhaps carefully watch the Canadians and look for slip ups, obviously forced "blunders" and confront them when they occur. And to be perfectly honest, maybe it isn't worth resisting. Who knows, when Canadians have full control of the entire continent, the sabotaging will end, and North America will finally have a true chance at winning Worlds.

 

 

tldr; Canadians are actively sabotaging the LCS to lead to the eventual annexation of the US by Canada

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