League of Legends

[satire] The year G2 didn’t throw a game at worlds.

LeagueofLegends12 - [satire] The year G2 didn't throw a game at worlds.

The year is 2031. After qualifying for 11 years at worlds and slapping Fnatic at each LEC finals, the team finally reached it's supreme goal in the year 2030: losing a game against a Japanese team. G2 ultimately managed something no team ever did. They had been able to score a loss against every region. After sabring a bottle of Red Bull for this special occasion, Carlos "Ocelote" came with an even greater challenge, almost unthinkable to G2: winning EVERY game in a World's group stage. After announcing this crazy goal for the coming year, Grabbz immediately resigned from its position, saying " Be realistic Carlos, you can't ask baseball players not to throw … well … we are like … well you understood me. Did you ?". Legend says he then joined TSM with the much more achievable goal of making it out of groups.

The outrageousness of the Spanish owner and the departure of their beloved draft inter made it clear to all the players. They had to take a gap year. Perkz grabbed his phone and reunited the first G2 squad (Kikis, Trick, Emperor and Hybrid) to take a year-long vacation with them. Caps wanted to have some fun, so he joined an LPL team. Jankos became a Buddhist monk for a year in Vietnam. Mikyx followed Perkz on vacations, just in case. Wunder played WoW.


Ocelote was devasted. How could he replace a line-up he made up more than 10 years ago? You have to remember that we are in the year 2031, so of course, Elon Musk became president and cloning is a thing. Ocelote could just take the DNA of each G2 player and clone them, but he had an even more ambitious idea. After inviting to the restaurant Godmisq and P1noy, he secretly picked up a hair from both of them. The ultimate G2 player was now being possible. The perfect DNA mix of the best players world ever knew. Unfortunately for Ocelote, the clones were too good at the game and became bored after the first week of the spring split, leaving the team without any player for the year.

The tragic 2031 year finally ended for G2. The whole roster came back stronger than ever for the coming season. Soraka top was meta, so G2 won the MSI. After winning the summer split finals 3-0 against Fnatic, G2 took once again Europe's 1st seed. But their group was the hardest they ever faced. It was made of NA first seed (yes, be realistic, in 2032, NA's first seed won't be in pool 1), Vietnam's second seed, and a random Wildcard team which managed to take over Europe's 4th seed. How could G2 not throw a single game in such a group? Jankos, dressed up in his Kasaya (Buddhist robe), came to the stage completely bald and started meditating before the game. Suddenly, he realized what the sense of life was and became the Buddha. With this new knowledge and power, G2 was finally able to not drop a single game in their group stage. After that, the team didn't even attend the quarter-finals, since their ultimate goal was already achieved.

tldr; All it took was 12 years, a group of life, and Jankos becoming the Buddha.

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