Everyone knows a good team comp is essential to the success of a team during your games. Some people build siege comps, some people build splitpush comps, some people build Protect-the-Puppy comps. But did you know there are other comps you could be building? Secret comps hidden from even the most Korean of pros? I am here to teach you.
A team comprised of champions who don't know how to shove their shit in a garbage bin. They make something and then chuck it on the ground, like an as*hole. Once when I was in Canada on my very first day I tossed a bottle cap on the sidewalk and a man yelled at me to pick it up. I was very scared and I learned a very important lesson that day: Canadians like their streets tidy, and these champs aren't Canadians.
Team Bootycall Gangbang
A team comprised of champions who can go anywhere, anytime, to fu*k someone up. Once they hit Level 6, they can pick someone out, ask them if they want to have a good time, and only when they've ascertained the recipient's consent will they collectively dive upon them and ravage their as*holes. That's the lore version of this team comp. In practice, however, it's like a doctor's visit: you don't get to decide what happens with your as*hole.
Mid: Twisted Fate
Support: Tahm Kench
A team comprised of champions whose abilities resemble farts. In all our hearts and minds we as human beings know what a fart is. Name a culture and I'll show you a fart joke. Mozart wrote an entire song that's a fart joke. Shakespeare's plays often contain fart jokes in the script. There is an ancient Roman play about a miser where it is said that he is so frugale he keeps his farts in a balloon. Now you know ancient Romans had balloons. I bet you didn't know that, did you? You thought they were all blood and lions, right? Well they're humans and that means they love farts.
A team comprised of dark-skinned champions. Sure, Wakanda doesn't represent black people but wouldn't it be more racist if I named a specific real-world country and said these champions were all from there? That's right. You know what's ridiculous? All the champions in Noxus are white. I checked. I looked at all the Noxian champions and even the former Noxian champions and they are all super white. Kind of undermines the whole thing about Noxus being diverse, doesn't it? Meanwhile Demacia is supposedly xenophobic yet it's got Lucian and Sona and Xi like what's up with that? Where's the black Noxians?? The empire's conquered enough territories to have run into one!
Know of a secret comp that's set to take over the meta? Go ahead and share. We must all prepare for the start of Season 9 and that means working together.
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