Hail and well met, noble adventurers! We are missionaries from the church of Merrick!
Have you heard the good news? Do you know of our lord and savior Merrick of Sharkbait Cove? It is by his divine will that good fortune is found by those who sail the Sea of Thieves.
Merrick, who gathered the pirate fleets to lay siege to and defeat the Hungering One.
Merrick, who then ate the Hungering One!
Merrick, whose joyful song is now shared by all upon the waves!
Merrick, who stands bestride the sea from Devil's Ridge to Sailor's Bounty on two pegged legs like a sexual conquistador!
Merrick, who gave unto us his only son Derrick and then vanished from this world.
Join us in spreading the good words and deeds of Merrick whose divine will is the reason you've found that captain's chest, stumbled upon that villainous skull washed upon the shores of Cannon Cove, been blown to smithereens by gunpowder explosions, or been sunk by gangs of other pirates.
If it has happened to you, it is as Merrick has designed it. Be not sad of your misfortune. Know that in your darkest hours, Merrick is with you. Yes, he has disappeared from this world, but we believe that Merrick will come again and herald the most golden of golden ages the Sea of Thieves has ever seen.
We in the church of Merrick believe in situational pacifism. We will approach you with kind words, attempting to spread Merrick's good deeds upon the waves, but we are more than prepared to defend ourselves if necessary. We may dress like humble missionaries, but we are heavily armed just like everyone else!
Don your sailor's
dress robes, headband, and sandals, and join us today! We usually fly the Castaway Bilge Rat sails to identify ourselves, but they are not a requirement by any stretch of the imagination. All you need do is spread the good word of Merrick upon the waves and join us in awaiting his glorious return!
…we are definitely
not a cult.
© Post "Have you heard the good news?" for game Sea of Thieves.
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