Sea of Thieves

I’m sorry, Picklebob – A tale of betrayal

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Dear Picklebob,

This weekend, my crew sailed in our galleon alongside your sloop and another crew. We grouped up with you and the other (slightly less competent) galleon crew in a quest to take out Megan, the hungering one. When it was done, we all reveled in our victory.

We then all sailed for the nearby emergent skeleton fort, saying that we'd split the treasure, having earned your trust from the megalodon fight. That was a lie – the first of many. You didn't know my friends and I were plotting behind your backs. We sank your boats at the fort during the scuffle and told you that skeletons did it. Another lie.

Despite all that, you returned after death and (barely) helped us complete the fort. But we secretly sank your boat again while you were idle on the shores, not helping with the skellie captain at all. You assumed you'd get your share of the treasure. We told you that was so. Another lie.

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As the key unlocked the door, revealing wealth within, my crew and I shouted our keyphrase – "Welcome to Sea of Thieves" – and shot you in the back. We took all the loot for ourselves and sold it for ~20k in gold, sharing it with no one. Friendships destroyed.

Later you came to find us. You tried twice to sink us in a deserved grudge, alone and with a friend, yet failed. We took all you had again, wooden planks and all. I can still hear your desperate retort back at us as you unsuccessfully lobbed cannonballs our direction – "Welcome to Sea of Thieves." Indeed.

I'm sorry. I felt bad. Another lie.


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