Yesterday, my crew and I were running a Noah's Ark voyage. They drop me off at Ancient Spire Outpost with our small zoo of chickens and sneks and sail back to Plunder Outpost so we can start the turn-in. They also leave me with a single gunpowder barrel to utilize in case somebody unfriendly shows up.
So I'm sitting there on the dock, waiting for them to relog and get new voyages when a sloop suddenly appears at the end of the pier. It just appears, perfectly parked, so clearly a fresh spawn. I hear somebody say "awwwww somebody docked!" and look up to see this fat little man huffing and puffing down the ladder.
Being friendly, I greet him and say that I'm just here to turn in chickens, not looking to fight or cause trouble. I don't know if he hears me or not, but I hear him say, "whoever's boat that is, I'm gonna sink it!" Confused at this, I say that's not my ship. He says "just walked across the ocean to get here, huh?" Clearly he's not believing me, but I don't understand why he hasn't realized this is HIS ship…regardless, I reiterate that I'm just here to turn in chickens, I'm not looking for trouble.
He runs up to the pier, I have blunderbuss in-hand, just in case. (Just because I'm not looking for trouble doesn't mean I'm not ready for it.) He picks up one of my black chickens, I ADS and warn him to put it down. He does, so I lower my gun. He runs to the end of the pier, then back again, takes out a sniper rifle, and shoots the gunpowder keg I have at the end of the pier.
Well, I lose 2 black chickens in the explosion (my own fault for having them a smidge too close, blast radius is always larger than we think it is) and he's clearly just being a d*ck, so I shoot at him. Winged him. Damn. At this point, however, I think he's realized that it's really NOT my ship docked at the pier, but his own…which he just blew the fu*k up. So he jumps onto the sloop and starts trying to patch holes. Obviously, this guy is being a d*ck, so I follow him and surgically remove the back of his skull with my cutlass. I shrug and go back to guarding my petting zoo.
He respawns just as his ship is sliding into the depths and has the stupidest laugh I've ever heard. He shoots at me from the water…misses, then tries to climb the ladder. I shotgun him in the face and tell him I warned him. I tried to be nice, but I thought it would be fun to share this story of the id*ot who accidentally sank his own ship just for the sake of being a douche.
© Post "So, funny story…" for game Sea of Thieves.
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