Sea of Thieves

The little sloop that could

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So as you all know I never do missions and sail the seas running off wit hard earned loot. But every now and then, you troll the wrong guy.

So I’m burnin’ a good fat whiteowl ( I’m too much of a scrub for backwoods) and cruising around near morrows, not exactly in the roar ya know, closer to spire. I see a sloop decked out in full Athena and immediately give chase. I think, finally a challenge.

Turns out it’s some squeaker (AGAIN wtf should adults just not play this game?)and I make short work of him and take his nice load from a nearly complete Athena. Oh lord did I fu*k up. I should’ve listened as I was spawcamping him… he kept saying he was steering his older brother’s boat while he was eating dinner, and he was gunna fu*k me up.

About thirty minutes later I’ve surprised a brig at morrows and I’m spotting all their loot on the island when I hear cannon fire. It’s the sloop. I sword back to my brig and bucket three times and fix the 4 holes he made from the OTHER side of island. I drop sail and pursue him… second fu*k up. I shoot him off my ladder 3 times as I try to turn away and realize I’m not dealing with the same guy. The deep voice of a late 20s career as*hole gamer booms over the speaking trumpet saying he’s going to sink me and sell everything on the beach.


I try to board him and fail. He snipes me in the water before I touch the ladder. This guy is a fu*king monster and he’s pissed because I shat on his little bro. So I’m smart and beach my brig on morrows and sell most of brig’s stuff before he surprises me in front of gh dude and swords me to death somehow. I thought it was over.

I spawn at sanctuary, I think it’s over. I roll another doobie and start lookin for boats and try to forget how hard I got fu*ked. I find a sloop at chicken isle finally. I could take time describing how gnarly it was…. but basically he took all the legend crap off his boat and was waiting for me. He had kegs stashed on the island and murked me so hard it was unbelievable. He sailed off in his plain sloop taunting me and telling me I was a toxic piece of shit.

You win some you lose some. Mad respect funkymunky33. One day I’ll get revenge but you pirated the shit out of me bruh

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