Sea of Thieves

The solo slooper that stole my heart

SOT E3 2016 Desktop 3 1920x1080 1024x576 - The solo slooper that stole my heart

You were an adventurous one, I could tell. The shipwreck you prepared to dive for was far, far below. I'd never seen one so deep down. But the mast on the horizon is a sure sign of trouble, and off you darted into the everlasting blue.

I took your spot, reluctantly diving down to see what booty the wreckage below may hold. I caught merely a glimpse, as your piercing gaze befell my sloop a shiver ran up my spine.

I grasped the nearest crate of loot and swam back up, just in time to plant a cannonball in your charging hull as I sailed away.

And this, my anonymous admiree, is when I fell for you.

Hell hath no fury like a solo slooper scorned. And with the devil at your heels there you were once more, this time I could not avoid you. Our eyes met as blades and bows clashed. You were swiped overboard, I swiped a random piece of loot from your deck and set off once more. Spices, their scent furious as their previous owner had been. Daring, alluring in their audacity.

Twice now I had made a fool out of you, twice I had danced this dance with you. You had tasted the forbidden fruit called Vengeance. And how sweet its nectar was.

Relentless in your pursuit, ruthless in your rain of cannonfire. As I steered into a storm knowing full well what this could mean for solo sloopers such as us, you followed daringly.

Cannonball for cannonball we traded, plank for plank we repaired in an unspoken agreement between gentlemen. How I longed for the brush of our hulls once more, my sweet. So that I could perhaps give you yet another reason to continue your chase.

Another storm. Another duel. Another lull as we repaired our ships. My supply of planks and cannonballs very nearly came to an end, but so did yours. And so too must all good things end.

You sailed off, and as I watched your sails disappear over the horizon I knew that was the end of an epic chase across the Sea of Thieves. I had moaned with frustration and laughed with delight as I saw your sloop like a shadow behind me.


Did you ever return to that wreck? I wonder, did you think of me? From the Crooked Masts to Plunder Outpost I sailed with you in tow. Did the third storm I so recklessly enter prove too tall a tale?

Because I thought of you. I thought of you in my bleakest hour, when I was left with two planks as the fourth (I'm not even joking!) storm battered down upon my sloop. The lights of Golden Sand Outpost lied in front of me, so close yet so far.

As the storm battered what was left of my ship I lifted anchor, I wrestled the sea herself knowing it was sink or swim. The only memento I had of you safely by my side. A crate of spices. You, who gave me the courage to see it through.

As I braved the docks with my spices in tow, lighting struck literally a foot in front of me. It scared the shit out of me. It couldn't end like this.

Your (or should I say our?) box of Exquisite Spices sold for 1403 gold.

I should have known that faithful moment when I spotted your mast at the horizon that this could only be fate. I should have known that if I had only parlayed with you perhaps… but no. A pirate's life for me. Therefor I write you this letter, oh captain of mine.

Perhaps you will see it, perhaps not. I cast it unto the great ocean that is the internet in the bottle that is my heart, where you will forever remain.

You made me fight for every inch of ground as I made off with your stolen goods. Demonstrating what it means to be a pirate. Suffer no booty to be stolen without consequence. I salute you, as a true Pirate Legend.


~The slooper that stole your spices

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