My friend and I had just finished a skull fort on Keel Haul on a sloop when your galleon came streaking across. We took the key and set sail due south. First, you couldn't seem to hit anything but the ocean with your cannonballs. Once you gave up on your gunnery, you proceeded to launch yourselves at our sloop, yet still with your legendary aim. As you sailed overhead and landed in the seas around us you showered us with a litany of insults and slurs. Very classy. As we rained cannonballs on you, you shouted how we were "p*ssies" and didn't want to fight. Oh, I'm sorry, we're just supposed to sit here and get boarded?
Nevertheless, in protest, we took down our Jolly Roger and put up the rainbow flag. We then attempted the Demon's Gambit, which is a maneuver that my crewmate and I had come up with and pulled off many times before. We sail off the map and taunt the opposing galleon to come after us. We know the boundary where we need to turn, and the galleon almost always overshoots it. Lo and behold, it works, and the galleon sinks, and we kill all four sailors in the water. Praise be to the Drowned One.
I just want to let you know you, we never sank. We sailed that damn rainbow flagged sloop to Keel Haul, grabbed our loot, and flew the rainbow all the way to Sanctuary Outpost where we cashed it in.
Taste the rainbow, you feckless cowards. Know that you were bested by the crew of the legendary Quick Dicken.
© Post "To the enemy crew that flung homophobic slurs at us…" for game Sea of Thieves.
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