How the Space Goblin Mafia caused a galactic economical depression

stellaris 4 - How the Space Goblin Mafia caused a galactic economical depression

Tldr: induced a galactic economic depression. It was fun.

The space goblins mafia rose to power, explored space and met some aliens. Some mushroom slavers to the north, lizard people to the northwest who hates the goblins for no reason, fanatical purifier elves to the south.

I don't blame the elves, if their first alien encounter are these repugnant goblins, of course they'd be horrified and decided to be fanatical purifiers.

Well you see, in addition to being a criminal syndicate, the goblins also took indentured assets, nihilistic acquisition and later xeno-compatibility.

They'd come to your planet, kidnap your population into slavery, and force them to make half-goblin half-breeds.

Goblin Slayer intensifies.

So of course the elves hate the goblins, but you know what's the best part? The elves are fanatical purifiers. No one cares what the goblins will do to them.

The first century came and went. The goblins set up drug labs everywhere, then resold excess consumer goods on the galactic market for some extra profit.

Cheap narcotics for everyone. You xenos can stay home and be high as a kite and not even bother having to wear pants!

The mushroom slavers got along well with the goblins because they can hang out and talk about all day.

The lizard people hated the mushrooms and the goblins, kept yammering something about democracy and sapiens-rights. However, since they are the center of drug trade, basically a distributor of goblin products, so the goblins tolerated them and think that they are just high or something.

The fanatical purifier elves for the short end of the stick. They were repeated raided by the goblins to be used as slaves. Got to show my mushroom friends my new xeno slaves. Later after xeno-compatibility, the elves became something more, and no one bats an eye because they are fanatical purifiers.

They have their reasons to hate xenos.

After a few repeated raids, the elves were so weakened, that some opportunist horse people conquered them and put them out of their misery. Ironically, some elves refugees decided to flee to the goblins.

The goblins welcomed all refugees, for a price that they are willing to loan, on the condition that they'd have to work off their debt.

And so ends the first century.

The goblins have secured their position in the galaxy as the exclusive drug cartel,major economic powerhouse, indentured assets owner, and featuring xeno-compatibility pleasure palaces.

Then in the roaring 2320s, the goblins underwent not one, but two engineering projects. They started to convert their capital and research world into two ecumenopoli. Two cities that will span the entire planet, two planets that are essentially cities.

As the planets are encased in an urban landscape, lots and lots of urban spaces become available, and it foreshadowed the impending chaos that would rage across the galaxy.

With the extra living space, the goblins quickly bought billions of slaves to fill the available jobs. Even though the mushrooms kind of sold their entire population, the city planets still weren't filled.

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The goblins proceeded to raid some xenophobic isolationist through a wormhole. That's what you get for not making friends. No one will come to your aid.

With all the extra pops, the goblins started to run out of food. Their agri world was a crappy one, even though it has the "lush" modifier, it didn't have that much available farmland. It supported the goblins just fine when the population was small, but with the massive influx of new indentured workers, food is becoming scarce.

So the goblins retrofitted the drug labs across the galaxy into bio-reprocessing plants. It also helped their mushroom friends, since the mushrooms sold off their farmer slaves and are having a bit of food shortage themselves.

You can't go hungry if you become the food. *taps forehead

By tearing down the drug labs, the goblins no longer have excess consumer goods to sell, but that is to be expected. Except that something went amiss and wrecked the galactic economy.


At first it was a trickle, the goblins went from exporter of consumer goods to importers. The goblins paid no heed, as their economic power can easily import the goods necessary to keep the empire running.

It must be the deficit from retrofitting the drug labs.

Yet the consumer goods deficit increased, and increased, and increased. The trickling deficit became a sweeping tsunami. Soon the goblins found themselves selling off minerals, food, alloy, rare crystals, volatile motes, and living metal to pay for importing consumer goods.

The goblins switched from military economy to civilian economy, but it didn't fix the problem. The goblins issued a recycling campaign, but it only bought them a few extra years before buying consumer goods bankrupted them. As all other commodities were sold in masses, the prices tanked. As consumer goods are imported at faster and faster rates the prices skyrocketed.

The writing is on the wall. The end is near. The factory worlds are on full capacity but it is only stalling the inevitable.

Tearing down the drug labs can't be THAT bad! The math doesn't add up!

And it's too late to restore the drug labs, since it will only cause food shortages instead.

The goblins don't know what went wrong, but this must be what the first league felt like in the stories.

Finally it dawned on them. By suddenly buying all those slaves and raising the xenophobic isolationist years ago, many people were bumped up the social ladder and required much more consumer goods. The factory worlds simply can't keep up with the demand.

That and failing to manually managing pops to take up artisan jobs.

Now the problem is known, the fix is easy. The goblins tore down some cultural district on the capital and replaced it with industrial districts and told some cultural workers to be artisans instead.

Yet, decades have passed. The goblins were on their last legs when their economy was finally fixed.

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The goblins looked outside of their empire once again, and find a galaxy in turmoil. Rebellions in faraway lands (yet annoying too far away for the goblins to make a profit on) pirates plaguing a two-planets-but-many-systems empire in an extended galactic arm. High crimes and low stability on all of the lizard people's planet.

The goblins were perplexed, but after reading another Reddit post, they started to understand.

The great goblin economy crash has shaken the galaxy to its core.

Even they don't admit it, the xenos practically relied on the goblin narcotics to keep their empire running. All of a sudden, because of a goblin food shortages, the drug labs were gone! Replaced with some vegan mushroom burger patty factory. Seriously, those lizards are carnivores, they don't want no mushroom burger.

All of a sudden, EVERYONE is running out of consumer goods. However, the goblins are now crashing every commodity on the galactic market, which is so conveniently located in their home system, while at the same time hiking consumer goods to astronomical prices. Empires across the galaxy were engulfed, near, far, wherever they are, anyone who relied on the galactic market were hit. Once they ran out of consumer goods and energy credits, they're doomed.

The ones who relied on the goblin drugs suffered the worst. The lizard dude high on goblin drugs sobered up and realized he wasn't even wearing pants, he went to buy a pair of pants and found that everything was sold out. Disgruntled, he joined the criminal underground backed by the goblin mafia. Two of the lizard people's planets are at 100% crime and sub 30% stability, multiple ruined buildings littered the planet surface. The place has become a hell hole yet somehow still won't rebel.

I accidentally ruined my economy and consequently caused a galactic depression.

I loved it. Would do it again. Now if somehow I can get the other empires to Balkanize, it would be even more fun.

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