Stellaris

Patch 2.3 “Wolfe” Notes: What They Actually Mean

stellaris 3 - Patch 2.3 "Wolfe" Notes: What They Actually Mean
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"Of course you can touch it. No, we don't know what it does. Stop being such a wuss." – Gene Wolfe


Ancient Relics Story Pack Features

  • Collect the unbelievable wonders of stellar civilizations past, representing great sceintific and cultural achievements that were the culmination of thousands of generations of dreams and progress – and put them in a glass case that a bunch of little shits will come take pictures of each other humping before they go buy a tacky, overpriced plastic versions of them in a gift shop run by underpaid young adults whose parents thought they were going to graduate with honors and joint the Planetary Survey Corps.

  • A new Archaeology system that allows you to fuck with weird shit you find buried on other planets heedless of the potential consequences.

  • Two new Precursor empires to serve as cautionary tales you will utterly disregard because they weren't like you! You're special!

  • Discover new Relic Worlds, for those of you who will quickly exhaust the potential catastrophes of normal xeno archaeology and think, "What, was that all?"

  • Minor Artifacts are a new rare resource representing ancient wonders not deemed cool enough for the garbage children at the museum, so your science officer will probably end up using it as a door stop or something until it turns out it's caused the entire ship to become haunted by moon ghosts.


2.3.0 "Wolfe" Free Features

  • We completely redid sectors again and, Worm willing, this might be the least bad they've ever been.

  • Planetary administrators can now be told to go look up a fucking build order on the TL forums instead of bugging you every time they have a construction slot open.

  • Ring Worlds now unlock unique districts based on the type of star they're built around because we know how much everyone loves having an epic space opera end with a choice between different colors.

  • Added an option to disable caravaneers, though this is way less fun than exterminating them personally.

  • Rogue Servitors have finally figured out how to make living on orbital habitats not suck.


Balance

  • Terraforming a planet will no longer cause mountain ranges and stuff to inexplicably disappear.

  • We now have the technology to put movie theaters in space.

  • Mastery of Nature can once again be taken as your first Ascension Perk because too many players were experimenting with other possibilities.

  • People living in the dystopic clusterfuck of an Ecumenopolis will now demand much stronger drugs to go about their daily lives.

  • Pops living on a low habitability world will hate their jobs more and bang less often. Millennials on Earth quoted as saying, "Same."

  • Dyson Spheres now produce an amount of energy that make them worth having, up from Why Would You Even Bother?

  • Interstellar Assembly now costs energy in upkeep instead of consumer goods after the diplomats went on strike and demanded to be paid in real money instead of iphones.

  • Galactic Wonders ascension perk no longer provides instant gratification, so aforementioned Earth millennials are going to lose interest in it very quickly.

  • The progenitors from the life-seeded civic have had their parenting quality decreased, and they no longer gave enough of a shit about their creations to seed other Gaia worlds for them to expand to.

  • Clerks and Preachers job weights no longer care about being strong, weak, or proles because the amount of bullshit you can produce in a stellar cycle isn't really affected by your physical ability.

  • Miner job weights DO care about being proles because that's a real job, son. Where you get your hands dirty. Builds character. But sure, it's your life. Who am I to tell you who you are and aren't allowed to disappoint?

  • Synth empires no longer need to grow a bunch of potatoes to cram inside their colony ships for no reason.

Read:  Can y’all imagine how it must feel like for a defeated FE

Performance

  • Fixed a case where every pop would check for faction membership on every daily tick because if history has taught us anything, it's that doubling down on a given ideology in spite of evidence presented to you is always a better strategy than having to go to the trouble of constantly re-evaluating your beliefs.

UI

  • The diplomatic screen will now tell you exactly how much influence you're getting from owning your rivals in the comments down below.

  • Added entry to the fleet capacity tooltip explaining how many Titans you can build, because we know that's the first thing you wanted to find out after you watched Tarsis Prime explode into a billion pieces and send those smug, punk ass bird bros into the dustbin of galactic history.

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  • Fixed terraform button tooltip wrongly suggesting you can terraform gaia worlds. Ruining a perfect biosphere takes many decades of willfully ignoring science for the sake of profit. You can't just push a button.

  • You will now always be forced to look at the face (or closest equivalent to a face) of whatever pop is in decline on a given world because you're a bad person and you should feel bad.

  • Ambassadors are no longer allowed to play an Uno reverse card right before you accept a commercial pact.

  • Fixed the tooltip for influence gain after a humiliation war to remind you that the reason none of your people take you seriously anymore is because of how badly your rivals owned you in the comments down below.

  • Added descriptive text to the jobs screen to explain how favoriting jobs works, because if you're being honest with yourself you were just toggling it on and off for different stuff until you got it to do what you wanted, weren't you?


AI

  • Fixed the AI relying on the Federation fleet at the expense of their own navy, even though I'm sure there have been entire storylines based on that exact thing in various sci fi media.

  • Sector AI has been assured that Black Mirror is not actually real and will no longer be afraid to upgrade science labs to level 3.

  • Sector AI will no longer assume we just have nanites growing on trees or some shit.

  • AI fleets should no longer see an enemy go MIA and decide they should just wait around indefinitely because they're surely coming back.

  • The AI should no longer try to solve unemployment by creating a bunch of job openings with qualifications that no one in the work force can realistically meet. Earth millennials reportedly asking if they can go live in that universe instead.

  • AI should no longer order its navy to hang out wherever they happened to be when a war ended and assure them it's fine, their families will be well taken care of.


Bugfixes

  • Fixed a case where Prethoryn Infestors would not infest habitable worlds, which is pretty much the only goddamn thing they're supposed to do, so I don't honestly know what they've even been up to all this time.

  • Fixed nonfunctional "upgrade all" button for defense stations that was installed so that the president visited the installation, he would feel like he had something meaningful to do.

  • Fixed some more bugs with the Worm event chain that, once again, you probably didn't even realize were bugs because it's so weird that nothing relating to it would ever come across as inconceivable.

  • Caravaneers should no longer try to sell their shitty protein bars to machine empires.

  • Cyborgs can now live on Machine Worlds. They're just going to complain about it all the time.

  • Fixed a case where you couldn't build an outpost in a system with hostile primitives because it counted as enemy territory, nor could you invade and subjugate them to rectify this situation because they weren't inside your borders, leading to your massive death armada being defeated by cave people due to a bureaucratic technicality.

  • Fixed having to turn the universe off and back on again to get the benefits of removing certain tile blockers, as tech support was getting way too many calls about it.

  • The crew of that ship the caravaneers gave you who said they were definitely not pirates… were pirates. They have been dealt with.

  • Fixed weird cases where genetically modified subspecies could unintentionally be enslaved with certain ethic/civic combinations, though the governor responsible still insists his interpretation of the political theory involved was airtight.

  • Fixed unusually slow purge speed when the Prethoryn conquered a primitive world, as it was found that some of the cerebrates were placing the cattle into groups of 64 and forcing them to fight to the last for their amusement.

  • Failing to Preemptively strike the Underground civilization as a homicidal race will cause them to invade you rather than assume that all of the data they have about you is probably biased or misinterpreted and your two peoples will get along just fine in the end.

  • Captain Your Dad has been forbidden from assuring the crew that he "definitely knows a shortcut" through that uncharted wormhole and he's "been here a million times", knows it "like the back of his hand."

  • Colonists should now wait until there are at least, like, four people on the entire planet before they start mugging each other for oh so scarce resources.

  • Impose Ideology war now properly creates an independent allied empire, instead of a vassal, because postmodern imperialism is all about making it seem like they're not just your sock puppet.

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