The Buvhondon Coterie

stellaris 6 - The Buvhondon Coterie

The Buvhondons? Aye, I know em. I know em well. Look at me eyes, boy, you see those black dots? I was in the Tributary Wars. Aye, that one. Kicked one in the skull and its spores got in me eyes.

Starting like that is a tad of a dick move, ain't it? It was about…. a hundred or so years when we met them, the Imperium didn't even understand what they were. See, the Buvhondon aren't really a creature in and of itself. it's this fungus, grows on a local species they turned into servants or something…. Ethir, I think… Big things, those. Could beat a man to death with his own arm and laugh while you shoot him…

I'm sorry…. give me a moment…. The war was… it was quite something to behold.

Soo, the Buvs, that's what we called them in the War, were older than farts. Sure, they could grow old on their own, very old in fact. I don't know the science, but one of my war buddies told me that it had to do with the way the fungus remakes their Ethir hosts. Turns them as weak as a child, but they can grow old…. so old, and so fucking smart.

Funnily enough, it was everyone trying to kill them that made them so terrifying. You frown, but it's true. The Buvs didn't even have time to expand into its 25th year. While every empire vied for power, the Buvs were forced to settle for sixteen measly star systems, too caught up in developing a warmachine to keep its rivals at bay. When the time came where they were looked on in fear, all the systems were already established, and the Buvs already entrenched themselves in those sixteen measly systems. To spread out would mean to extend themselves in a way they never intended to, so they didn't.

If two or three factions managed to band together…. that might have been the end of them… But alas, it wasn't that fortunate. They colonised worlds their tropical species were not built to withstand, they conquered primitive nations that went back to the bronze age after a nuclear war. They fortified themselves in this little piece of galaxy, among thirty empires all ready to annihilate them for what they were. For stealing entire planets of people and resources. They were becoming more and more strained, yes, but they were making due. They were surviving.

Then, they discovered how to create space habitats.


In a single human generation, they turned into an empire that would make even the great hive minds pause in fear. Thousands upon thousands of factories pushed out alloys due to be used within the month of its creation, only taking so long since it was to be moved to the appropriate places. Those democratic plants, the Quipts… they were the first to bend the knee. An entire empire's people forced to submit to a race of militarized pirates.

The Jusstkan Organism was next. That war…. I fought in that war. Transtellar had a defensive alliance with Jusstkan. We used them mostly for their food production, and well…

That's where we fought them. Clones, slaves and proper damn soldiers. They stole millions of people while taking the planets, reducing it to rubble… They took worlds to feed their many stations, starved without any proper gardens… They turned entire worlds into arcologies. They took the damned Science Nexus….

I fought my last battle on Jusstka, that damned hive mind's homeworld. An entire planet laid to waste because they didn't want the fight to be a close win….

Funnily enough, the stopped slavery after that. It just didn't turn much of a profit, anymore.

No more… I'm old, and I want my days to be peaceful. We'll not talk of that time. Boy, you must get ready yourself. Something is coming, boy. Something big. I'll be long gone before it's here, Boy, but you will be here, just like me. Transtellar will probably be crushed, they will if they're not careful, but you… you need to survive what's coming.

Go now…. And Boy?

Thanks for the drink. You didn't speak much but… I think it's good… to tell it like it is. Granted, I didn't do it that much but… an old man must find his peace.


So guess who managed to get overwhelmed with the Stellaris hype? DIS GUYYYY

Hope you guys enjoyed the read. I swear, I didn't plan on it being that big, but hey. It's stellaris. You never know how your fungal parasites will end up, but you do know their ships will always stay ugly

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