So I decided to play Space Dwarves. I wanted to get the +1000 Mineral income a month achievement… and while I know I could probably just play any late game civ and just shut off my production for a month, I wanted to get it in STYLE. The following is the cliff notes:
I queued up "Diggy Diggy Hole" on Youtube and went to work.
Created a Dwarf Race – full RP Meme style – Industrious, Traditional, Strong, Unruly, Wasteful. Fanatic Authoritarian (for the King!), Materialist. Mining Guilds, Efficient Bureaucracy. As Dwarf as Dwarf can be. Named it Clan Ironhammer.
Started the game, proceeded to dig holes.
Expanded to find more holes to dig. Dug holes in space. +300 minerals income really quickly.
Plowed up the research labs on my home world. Science is for elves.
Found out I was surrounded on 3 sides by enemies who expanded toward me. One guy was really cool, allied me fast. Some insect hivemind creatures. Cute. The other one took a little doing. The third was a Militaristic Imperialist duck who started quacking insults almost immediately.
Ignored the noise, just wanna dig holes.
Seeing what I was doing, the ducks declared rivalry. Challenging me to hole digging contest? I accept. Rivaled back.
Then one of our science vessels found records of divinity, so decided to become spiritual instead of materialist. Started Digging Holes for the Lord now.
Materalism is now for elves as well.
Got invited to the Galactic Community. King had a great idea – if we go Diplomacy, we can sell the things we find while digging holes (for the Lord).
We host the market because of all the rocks we sell, we're market leader. We now sell our things with only 10% upcharge.
Around this time, we're discovering how great spiritualist is with an influx of priests. Research without pansy Elf Science? Acceptable.
This angers our neighbor to the north. He calls us short over formal diplomatic channels. That was the last straw. Time to stop digging holes (for the Lord) and make some space duck vassals.
Apparently digging holes, making alloys and selling excess at only 10% difference is good for the economy. We crush em, science ships come inspect the wreckage (for science!). They agree with the fleet – they're dead.
I think they got some science from it it, but science is for elves so we don't care.
The insect hivemind that earlier allied me crapped himself so hard, he offered to become my vassal right after. Awkward. Accepted though. If you want to join me in the hole digging, acceptable. Digging Holes (for the Lord) with us.
The other guy gets attacked. Defensive Pact triggered. *sigh*. I stop digging holes, send in the fleet. Within 15 years, I make the enemy my vassal. The guy I protected asks to become my vassal too.
Awkward. I just wanna dig holes guys.
Around this time, I decide to integrate the birds and the bees. I inspect the homeworld of both – to our horror, realize we're Purging the bees!
Turns out, hiveminds who become integrated vassals lose their drones. We're now genociding an entire race of friendly bees because we smacked some loud mouth ducks so hard, the hivemind got scared and decided death was better.
Super awkward. Welp, moved dwarves over. Started digging more holes. Buried drones in them. Clan Ironhammer will never forget you.
151 years into the playthrough, I control 1/4th the galaxy through assimilated vassals across 26 worlds. Only producing a surplus of +100 minerals though. Realized I lost the plot. Buried the lead. I was here to dig holes, not conquest. Had a Come to Jesus moment. Switched off my industry, stopped selling rocks, got +1500 for one month. Achievement unlocked.
Considering digging holes (for the Lord) now until the End Game. Seeing what happens anyway.
So what was your most unexpectedly fun playthrough?
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