The Elder Scrolls

Meme Deck Mondras: Tamriel Park Boys

TheElderScrolls10 - Meme Deck Mondras: Tamriel Park Boys
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Tamriel Park Boys

Decklist

So you think you got what it takes to be king of the trailer pærk? Alright. Well, Bærb's got an offer to sell the pærk to some Daedra unless we come up with the septims first. We got a week, maybe two so you need to get out there and do whatever you need to do to make some cash! This won't be easy: you're gonna need to get some runes broken first, so make sure you have a steady hand so you don't spill your drink! Here, take Cory and Trevor. If you run into any trouble with the Jarl's men just use them for cover, got it? Alright, let me introduce you to the rest of the crew:

{{Legate Ricky}}- Yeah, I sent Cory and Trevor out to do a job a little while ago, and I'll swear to fuck if those two dummies don't manage to do something right for once! I know Khajiit and Ærgonians smærter that Cory and Trevor. Fuck, *most* Khajiit and Ærgonians are smærter than Cory and Trevor!

{{Brynjylof}} as: Julian- I'm just trying to look out for everyone in the pærk. We just need to break a few runes and put in a dishonest days work; ya know, nothing too greasy, and in a few weeks we can buy œut the whole trailer pærk and finally retire!

{{Shadowmere}} as: The Shitmobile- Spray! Spraaaayyyyy!!

{{Crassius' Favor}}- I'm sorey Sarah, but I need to borrow Corey and Trevor today. Corey, Trevor: smokes, let's go!

{{Cheydinhal Sapper}}- I need you boys to cause a distraction, take the heat off of us, alright? Go!

{{Master of thieves}} as: Bubbles- This one is just trying t'collect shopping carts to feed m'Kittehs, *huhhh* Ya know, those little fuckers just go wherever they want in the pærk causin' all sorts a mischief. We've got: {{Bandaari Opportunist}}, {{Blood pact Messenger}}, {{Torval Crook}}, {{Decendant of Alkosh}}, {Elsweyr Lookout}}, {{Cog Collector}}, {{Thieves Guild Shadowfoot}}… this one actually just came up with those right now *huhhhhh* truth is, half the cocksuckers don't even have names *huhhuh*!

{{Gearwork spider}} as: shopping carts.

{{Scout's Report}}- I saw it with my own eyes mister Lahey: they're growin' herbs in their trailer!

{{Marked Man}}- Hi Lawkeeper, I'm Jim Corey and this is Trevor Lahey. Nothing's going on over here, no big deal. So I'd really appreciate it if you would KINDLY FUCK OFF!! *throws BBQ*

{{Gentleman Jim Lahey}}- Some thieves have manners Bobandy, and some thieves have their hands covered in shit! It smells like we got a couple of shithands on the loose bud! Let's see if the liquor can point us in the right direction *hic*!

{{A night to remember}} as: 'The Liquor'- I am the liquor. A little drinky-poo, a few laughs and a contest. *hic* What could be better, bud?

Read:  The Elder Scrolls: Blades Closed Beta, Early Access, & FAQ

{{Finish Off}}- *Lahey chugs entire bottle of Liquor before stumbling over with his pants around his ankles*

{{Weakness}}- How did they know my one strength was also my one weakness: the liquor.

{{Yagrum Bo-bandy}}- Fuck you Bobandy, you sweet roll eatin' ma'fk lookin' like he's packin' 15 cheese wheels in that billowy gut! *Hamph* Go build some ruins and squeeze your blubbery ass into some pants, you Corprus disease havin' Dwemer fuck! Why you gotta be stealin' bubbles' stolen shopping carts, huh?

{{Blackmail}}- Uhh…we're just rehearsing for a play down at the Blamford recreation center is all!

{{Innkeeper Barbara}}- Who do I have to *shout* at to keep track of strangers around here? I know I can't coun't on you Jim if you've been getting shackled all game!

{{The Ruby Throne}}- No more shit-talk Bo- bandy until we're back in power!

{{Young Dragonborn}} as: Donnie- JEEZUS FACK BOYS!!! KEEP IT DOWN!!!

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{{Cyrus the Betrayer}} The name is Ciscero. Ciscero, and I don't give the fuck who you are, alright? You see this Dagger? Night mother gave it to me. Enchanted. Blade, always unsheathed. Told me she loved me once…Fuckin' prick.

{{Daring Heist}}- Don't fuck this up boys and we'll be on a ship to Elsy-wherever-the- fuck and sippin nord meads in no time!

{{Arrow to the knee}}- FUCK BOYS! I'VE BEEN SHOT!!

{{Dune Smuggler}} as: Sebastian Bach and the Swayze Train Express- All we need to do is just move a few herbs across to the other lane is all: no big deal. Gain some cover, use some pilfer and then we're millionares!

{{Debilitate}}- Holy fuck boys this vape's got this one baked out of his gourd! Decent!

{{Knight of Order}} as: 'Colonel' Leslie Dancer- It says here he's a 'Private' Dancer! DON'T SAY IT!!!

{{Renowned Instructor}} as: Marguerite- Ricky, take these two idiots Corey and Trevor back before they wreck the rest of my trailer!

{{Star-Sung Bard}} as: J-Roc- I'm just tryna do a little cross promotion, you know what I'm sizza-sayin'? Singin about my boy Julian savin' the trailer park and errebody, *brraapp* yo but they all be critiquin' my rhymes tho dog!

{{Tazkad the packmaster}} as: the Green Bastard- GREEN BASTARD *huhhhh* Parts unknown!

{{Blessing of the Grove}}- I'm actually proud of you for once boys: this is some medical grade herbs we got growing here, good work guys…put your hands down.

{{Sparking Spider}}- This one told Ricky not to take too big of a hit through that fancy electronic vaporizer! Christ boys, look at 'im: he's couch-locked!

{{Transitus Shrine}}- Convenients Store- Our top sellers are loose Skooma bottles, and bootlegged copies of the Lusty Argonian Maid!

Read:  The Elder Scrolls: Blades Closed Beta, Early Access, & FAQ

{{Smugglers Haul}}- Trevor's just looking into chests without taking anything œut, that ain't stealin'. When he finds something good, Corey puts a bucket on the shopkeepers head. That ain't stealin' neither.

{{Territorial Viper}}- A snake bit my cock!

{{Riften Lawkeeper}} as: Officer George Green- I warned you Jim: Never cry shitwolf!

{{Conjurer's Spirit}}- What did I say about crying shitwolf Jim?

{{Shithawk-wing feather}}- Remember boys: we'll be watching you…like a shithawk!

{{Soul Tear}} It's the winds of shit that let's the shithawk spread it's wings and soar, bud!

{{Crushing Blow}}- Bottle kids!! Incoming!

{{Cheesemancer}} as: Philadelphia Collins- can I get a cheeeeeeeeeese?

{{Adoring Fan}} as: Jacob- Brynjolf is so great! Is it cool if I hang out by you?

{{Blackwood Distiller}} as: Tyrone- Yo dog, that's too many yo's dog, we need to finish bottling this bootlegged Roc Vodka!

{{Cyriel}} as: Sarah- I told Rikke: you can't use Cory and Trevor any more unless you treat them right and reduce their cost!

{{Dark Seducer}} as: Lucy- Of course I'm dating Rikke now that she's selling herbs and making septims again. Otherwise that is not happening!

{{Dawns Wrath}}- We're in the eye of the shitstorm bud! The winds of shit have come together to rain it's shit wrath across the whole trailer park!

{{Edict of Azura}}- All's I gotta a say is thank fuck for freedom 35!

With also:

{{Reflective Automaton}} as: Conky.

{{Ahnassi}} as: Steve French.

{{Empire Recruiter}} as: Ray.

{{Wilds Incarnate}} as: Samsquanch.

{{Guildsword Honeytongue}} as: Treena.

{{Little Girl}} as Trinity.

{{Murkwater Shaman}} as: Sam Losco.

{{Barbas}}- Mrs. Peterman' s Dog.

{{Thieves Guild Fence}} as: Vince the Pince

{{Scouting Patrol}} as: Meat Dicks.

Source: Original link


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