The Elder Scrolls

Morrowind is Ridiculous and I Love it

TheElderScrolls2 - Morrowind is Ridiculous and I Love it

I just came back to Morrowind after not quite giving up on it, but kind of putting it down for a while, and it's just so ridiculous.

-The intro to Skyrim has you almost get decapitated but saved when a Dragon burns down an entire town. The intro to Oblivion has you in prison but you escape because the emperor is being assassinated. In Morrowind, you get off a boat, fill out some paperwork, and then are handed some cab fare, to talk to a guy who tells you to go wander off and do some side quests. High drama there.

-You can fly, like forever. You do so by power walking while midair. Most enemies can't do anything to you while you are flying, they just sit on the ground being angry.

-Except there are enemies while flying, because every three feet a pterodactyl with no survival instincts tries to eat you. The man who killed them became a saint.

-You move at 1 mile per hour, and the only way to go faster is to wear boots that make everything really dark (I'm a breton, so I have magic resistance)

-Being blinded makes your weapons more accurate, not less

-The magic. Spells are almost completely useless, but enchanting is insanely OP. Your magic doesn't recharge for some reason, but your enchanted items do. Leveling up your magic skills doesn't reduce the cost, and only makes you less likely to fail. Leveling up enchanting does. You can make an amulet that can fire 400 50 damage spells without needing to recharge. Also, area of effect. You can make something hit everyone in a 50 foot radius for 10% more cost than hitting one single enemy.

-You can make a ring that makes a sword, so that you feel like green lantern.

-You can make a helmet that makes another helmet tha removes the first helmet thus breaking the enchantment that created the new helmet, so that the game instantly crashes via paradox.


-You can make potions that damage your enemies personality midfight, in case they were too charismatic to kill. This will not ever help you. Ingredients that do this will be more common than ingredients that heal you or restore your magicka.

-Items: You can wear like, 16 pieces of clothing. You should put fortify strength on all of those pieces of clothing, because every weapon ways 80 pound but is worth 16000 gold. No one has that much gold, except for one well hidden crab, so you either keep everything on you, or dump it on the floor of the Balmora mages guild in one giant clump. I do both, and am carrying 1100 pounds of junk.

-There is hand to hand combat. It takes 10 minutes to kill a rat. You can do that in .05 seconds with a sword, but punching rats will make you faster.

-Any local species has a 35% chance of being a dinosaur with no front legs and a big mouth. (Guar, Kagouti, Alit)

-40% of the population lives in Daedric shrines. THey will attempt to kill you on sight.

-The world map doesn't tell you where anything other than large towns are. You're supposed to follow road signs. In an open world game. While flying. There are no landmarks.

-You can't fast travel, and have to get around by teleporting to a large town and then taking 16 fantasy cabs until you're where you want to be.

-I think at some point your character becomes immortal. I cannot stop thinking about the Nerevarine just showing up in Skyrim 200 years later chasing a dragon through the air.

This game is ridiculous and I love it.

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