The Elder Scrolls

TESL Stories

TheElderScrolls14 - TESL Stories

The all-knowing all-father, Odin looked gloomily at the world tree Yggdrasil. Once he was a young and dashing young man, filled with strength and vigor. But alas, he is but a old and feeble man now, destined to tend to Yggdrasil for the rest of his life.

Huginn, one of his beloved ravens swooped down from the sky with such speed that it would do a cliff racer proud. "Cwahh, Cwahh", the raven cried. Odin nodded his head in understanding. The news that the raven brought was not foreign to him. He knew that the mortals from Midgard had been filming some marvel movies recently, and he did not like how he was portrayed in the MCU. He thought the film director make him look……old……

"Qwahh, Qwahh", the raven cried. Odin leaned forward in anticipation. Now this was news. Huginn had recently discovered a mobile game called The Elder Scrolls Legends. This was worrying indeed, as there were screen shots of loading screens that asked uncomfortable questions like "How do you kill a God?" As the king and leader of the gods, questions like this make him feel queasy inside. The mortals must never rise against them.

He closed his eyes, and used the Odin force to enter the world of TESL. He was greeted by sights of Vigilant Giant that looked so much like one of the frost giants he had slain many years ago. He could still remember the turn of events. He was eating a Smoked Baliwog Leg when a Shrieking Harpy swooped down from the heavens and snatched the leg from his bare hands. He tried to throw a lightning bolt at the creature but it was too fast for him. He had tracked down the foul beast later and learnt that it belonged to a frost giant. In a fit of rage, he had killed the frost giant. He closed his eyes once more, and tried to use the Odin force to interpret and understand what this universe truly was.


It was love at first sight. She had sharp pointy ears and a really large nose. There was a flask nearby and she was busy reading a book. Odin loved intelligent women. She reminded him of his wife Freya when she was younger. Feya was now old and shrivelled, like a living rotting tree. He caught a glimpse of Eldergleam Matron, and for a brief moment, was reminded of his wife Freya. Hurriedly, he decided to turn his attention elsewhere.

It has been 2 days now since he discovered TESL. Odin had enjoyed himself immensely. While his old and aching bones could no longer take the toil of combat, he could now do so in the TESL world, at the comfort of his throne. His favourite deck was burn assassin, where his beloved babe would dish out the damage and win games for him. Each time his beloved did 2 damage to the opponent, he could feel his thighs burn with passion. He could truly feel the "burn". He loved the deck so much as forked bolt also reminded him of his son Thor, who would drop lightning bolts at the tip of a hat. What he did not enjoy, were the long potty breaks that the mortals took during the game. Most of them did not return, as they were too busy shitting themselves in the pants, he decided.

"Bwah, Bwah", Huginn cried. Odin frowned. This was bad news. He closed his eyes, and used the Odin force to read the upcoming nerf notes. He was angry and disappointed. He did not like Sparky to touch his girl without his approval. He sounded his battle horn, and Asgardian soldiers were seen scuttling around Asgard like skeevers. He has decided to wage war on Midgard and take his beloved back.

But first, he had to declare war. With a quill and an elder scroll, he wrote:

"Dear SparkyPants,

I have been grieving with the death of my beloved at your hands…………………………………………………….."

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