The Elder Scrolls

The Optimal Playing Order For Lore

TheElderScrolls6 - The Optimal Playing Order For Lore

This is going to be the optimal playing order for lore. If you are looking for the best lore experience in TES, you’ve come to the right place.

  1. Play Arena. This is the first game
  2. Make sure you play Daggerfall, don’t actually complete the game though, you only need to boot it up for 4 seconds then burn the drive it was on.
  3. Buy Skyrim -2, also known as Morrowind. Make sure you buy it in physical form, if you buy it digitally you might have to do step 3.5 3.5. If you accidentally downloaded Morrowind digitally, make sure you read the bible out loud to your computer, then, call an exorcist. Tell them you downloaded Morrowind digitally, they are trained for this, they know what to do, but it’s a secret ritual so I cannot speak of it online.
  4. Play through Morrowind, make sure you name your character “Vivec BigBalls6969” as to be close to lore.
  5. Buy Skyrim: Emporer’s New Groove, otherwise known as Oblivion. Have your mother play through the main storyline and watch it second hand, make sure that as she does the Shivering Isles quests, she has pockets with cheese in them or else the lore will not work.
  6. Play Skyrim
  7. Play Skyrim
  8. Play Skyrim, make sure you DO NOT collect any Potions of Minor Stamina, as this will ruin the storyline for this play through
  9. Skyrim
  10. Play Skyrim
  11. Nap
  12. Take a walk, think about skyrim.
  13. Buy a plane ticket and go to a beach
  14. Meet a girl named Jessica
  15. Spend the awhile with her
  16. As the sun sets on the boardwalk after you have been together for a bit, you ask for her number, just as you are about to get it a guy named Tyler comes
  17. He’s her boyfriend
  18. You get beat up by Tyler
  19. You go home heartbroken
  20. Play skyrim
  21. skyrim
  22. play skyrim until the year 2032 when Todd Howard’s Android replacement comes on stage and announces TES 6
  23. Buy the game
  24. Launch the game
  25. play for years, it’s the most fun you’ve ever had
  26. hear your doorbell ring
  27. it’s a beautiful woman from spain who has been put in an arranged marriage to you
  28. find out you’re related to a royal family in Spain
  29. You move to spain and settle down
  30. live until you are 89 with three great grandkids
  31. find out you are terminally ill
  32. accept your fate
  33. as you lay in your deathbed and see your wife, see your life flash before your eyes
  34. hear a flatline as you gasp for air
  35. everything goes back
  36. wake up with your hands bound on the back of a carriage
  37. feel like this is familiar
  38. see a man turn to you and say “Hey you, you’re finally awake”
  39. it’s skyrim
  40. it’s always been skyrim
  41. it will always be skyrim.

Hope this helps any new players who are hoping to play all the games. This is the best way to play if you are interested in the lore, so I hope everyone enjoys.


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