The Witcher

Witcher 1, Impossible fights you can win

TheWitcher10 - Witcher 1, Impossible fights you can win

So, while I was playing TW1, I have come across some good sons of bitc€es , you cannot beat. Here are my top 3 🙂

3) The Kikimore Queen: Did you know that collapsing a cave on that walkin piece of s#it , is not the only way to beat her? After 20 mins of runnin around, using yrden, white raffards decoction, aard, and saving after every goddam hit, the bitc# fell. Nothin changed really, after looting her i teleported to the place where all hell is supposed to go loose on her, so I dont reccomend wasting your time.

2)Next up, is the fat Headhunter. Now the fat Headhunter is a real pro here. I dont know why, butnfor some reason the game doesnt like you killing innocents or city guards, probably a bug, but anyways, the headhunter comes for you. When he came for me, i had two choices, stick a sword in his ass, or pay him to f$ck off. After he mentioned Bonhart(Ciri's torturer from the books) I put on the the soundtrack "Hunt or be Hunted" and felt compelled to kill him. Unfortunately, the first choice isnt as simple, I ended up being the one f&cked. So after long research(not really), i found out that you can kill him with those lightning dildos in the swamp. I did just that,the bastard was roughly f#cked by the lightnin, and he finally died. That was satisfying, even tho he had no loot. So imagine my reaction, when i go back to the city , AND HE IS THERE AGAIN, ASKING ME FOR MONEY. So payed him, and he f#cked off… Now on my next playthrough, i downloaded a mod, giving you infinite talents, gold, weapons and etc. (Spoilers for Game of thrones) I brought the guy to the swamp, lured him into the druids grove, and put on the battle soundtrack!(The one from the Battle of Winterfell) I hit him, he parries, i ignite him, he doesnt care. I use axes cuz he cant parry them, and he still doesnt give a dam. The Hierophant attacks him , and dies in a while. Now i decided to do this, because I figured if you can kill the golem with both combat and 3 lighting f#cks, you can prob do the same with the headhunter, as he needed 19 of those. But, that never worked. He raped the dam swamp, nothing but aard stopped him so it was pointless, and he killed me.( In the point of the soundtrack when Arya killed you know who). I later downloaded FCR mod, and it actually worked. Basically it allows you to fuck him! But its easier for him to fuck you too.. He showed in an order officer suit, and runnin as fast as goddam sonic with the name flash. I once again lured him to the grove, and Hierophant stuck a knife in his arse. He didnt loot anything, and he reappeared, but it was worth it)

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1) The ~Night~ King of the Wild hunt , in Chapter IV( During the quest hunting the wild hunt). If you dont place the mandrake bastards, King Bastard comes for you. He is not as good at f#cking as his predecessor, but there is nothing you can do to kill him. The entire game night, i fought with him, he parried and I used axes( again) , but he doesnt care. He only really reacted to maximum Yrden, any weapon that isnt a sword and aard. But that didnt help. I brought him and other monsters to the castle( Now this really felt more like the Long Night). I had Ygritte with a p€nis on my side( The guy with the bow, Pat), i had adam with his fucking knife, who couldnt kill a noonwraith but couldnt die either. And there was the little s#it runnin around( Alvin). I fought him for 24 game hours, and the King of Bastards still lived. When morning he came, he began to p¥ssy out and tried to back to the grove, but thats where Adam came in ,(stubborn s$it). Eventually even when night came, he still wanted to disappear and and thats what he did. So , after getting the FCR mod, i did the same thing; Me, Adam and Pat( Little shit still kept runnin around) gangbanged the King Of Bastards, and he dropped some vapors of the hunt. Its not a perfume, just some ingredient. I tried making a potion with it, and i barely survived.. that bastard.

So , in the end, i reccomend you download FCR, and Rise of the White Wolf, so you can f#ck any bastards that come in your way. Thank you for your attention)

P.S. I have picture proof, but for some reason I can't upload them here

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