Ok rainbows, I have 375 hours played and I'm currently plat 1.
I've never played with professionals or high diamond players. I also never soloQ because strangers scare me… Unless that stranger is you paying me for my PREMIUM coaching. From this, as well as perusing my resume, you should be able to piece together that I am highly qualified to give you the best coaching available.
You may wonder why I've decided to give my precious time to you unworthy shit-heaps. The answer is I'm broke as hel- I am a benevolent god.
Getting coached by me is a great honor. Seeing myself play actually causes me to black out as my massive dong drains the blood from my brain as it becomes erect. I honestly feel unworthy watching myself play, and I've started e-transferring myself money for the privilege. Even when I'm passed out though I'm still fraggin through pure animal instinct because I'm just that good.
Through my coaching I'll guarantee you reach 1% of my potential, which is enough to pull you out of gold you fu*king plebeian. Reaching 2% of my potential has caused former students to lose their minds. Perhaps you've heard of KiXSTAR? There's a reason he casts games now instead of playing.
You may need to link up your plebian gold brain with another person, pacific rim style, to put up with the mental strain. That second person will also have to pay however, because aint no freebies on this FREELO train.
Here are my rates:
- $20 for a 10 minute session. No cams, only voice. Tissues are not included.
- $100 I'll log onto your account and imprint some of my glorious stats onto your unworthy account.
- $10,000 will get you access to my PREMIUM snapchat where you will see my god-like hands at work in 10 second clips. Eye protection is mandatory. Previous students have gone blind trying to comprehend nature's perfect specimen play Rainbow 6 Siege.
- $100,000 will get you access to the R6 discord.
- Girl gamers get free coaching
If you are silver or below you are most likely clinically brain-dead. My condolences to your family. However, I fear your single-digit-IQ brain might emit some kind of stupidity radiation. Stay far, far away from me. You should instead focus on learning how to tie your shoes by yourself.
I don't do VOD reviews. If I wanted to see the pits of human depravity I would watch the sex tape I made with your mother. She a freak tho (she had to pay too).
I realize now that writing this may have been a mistake. I'm not entirely sure if you gold simpletons can even read.
If you have less money in your bank account than that pitiful number you call your MMR, don't even breathe in my direction. I only breathe premium air and your stink might be contagious.
Send all money to my cash app.
© Post "Offering *PREMIUM* Coaching" for game Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege.
Top-10 Best Video Games of 2018 So Far
2018 has been a stellar year for video game fans, and there's still more to come. The list for the Best Games of So Far!
Top-10 Most Anticipated Video Games of 2019
With 2018 bringing such incredible titles to gaming, it's no wonder everyone's already looking forward to 2019's offerings. All the best new games slated for a 2019 release, fans all over the world want to dive into these anticipated games!