Please note, this is for those who follow me primarily through the War Thunder reddit. I apologise in advance for the potential for this post to appear as spam. With that…
I hope you are all keeping well.
I appreciate many of you may be wondering why I have stopped making War Thunder videos, bought myself a Playstation 4 (PS4), and then suddenly started making Gran Turismo Sport videos.
In short, back in September 2018 my Dad was diagnosed with bowel cancer. Following treatment, it was confirmed in January 2019 that my Dad's cancer was terminal. He is still with us at home for now, but I know his final hours will eventually draw near.
This has hit my family hard. For me personally, it is the thought of losing not only my father and by correlation one of my closest friends; but also the biggest fan of this channel. Whilst it sounds silly, my Dad has since the beginning always been eager to check out my videos when they have gone live, and to know that one day I will come home from work and not hear him say: "What's your latest video Paul?" is a thought that haunts my mind day-in, day-out.
In trying to continue with everyday life whilst supporting my Dad (and my wider family) through his final days, I have tried to continue making my weekly War Thunder videos; yet it has become increasingly difficult to remain motivated to do so given the circumstances.
So why the sudden Gran Turismo Sport videos you may ask? Well, this brings my gaming history full circle and in a way is a send-off to my Dad. When I turned 4 my Dad bought the family a Playstation 1 (PS1) and used to spend hours playing it with me. The first game we ever played together was the original Gran Turismo. We continued to follow the Gran Turismo series up to Gran Turismo 4 on the Playstation 2 (PS2), at which point we left it behind for PC gaming.
When I had a chance to play Gran Turismo Sport at EGX 2016, I was so excited by the game that when I got home, I spent hours telling my Dad about it. However when I told him it would be PS4 exclusive, it upset him somewhat as we had both recently committed to re-building our PCs for PC gaming and did not see the value of "buying a PS4 solely for one game".
Now, I have come to realise there is value in buying a PS4 solely for one game. With my Dad's days numbered, Gran Turismo Sport has brought us together despite the emotional turmoil we are going through. Whilst he is currently unable to play the game due to our home set-up (something I am working on, or at least getting our old PS2 back-up and running for some Gran Turismo 4 action!), the videos I have been putting together have been something he has loved watching; and has invoked his memories of us playing the earlier editions of the game on the PS1/PS2.
So for now, I am going to focus on the Gran Turismo Sport videos in the knowledge that if the videos can bring as much joy to him now as he did to me when he used to play with me as a child, then I will have made his final days worth living.
With that, I bid you farewell for now.
Paul "tx141" Walsh
P.S. Dad, if you do accidentally stumble upon this post, know that I am always racing for you.
TD;DR – Dad has terminal cancer. Dedicating my free time to spending time with him and making videos on a game which will allow him to reminisce about when we used to play video games when I was younger.
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