There’s a Tenno! LOOSE! in the Sealab!

Warframe12 - There's a Tenno! LOOSE! in the Sealab!

I’ve never really cared about non-Grineer. Never talked about ’em much. But then, when I started making new Tubemen, the strangest thing happened. Now, I don’t know if you’ve been following the news, but I’ve been keeping my ears open and it seems like everyone everywhere is super-mad about everything all the time. I try to stay a little optimistic, even though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky. Here’s how I try to look at it, and this is just me, this Sentient being the Lotus, it’s like there’s a Tenno loose in the sealab. It’s like there’s a Tenno loose in a sealab. I think eventually everything’s going to be okay, but I have no idea what’s going to happen next. And neither do any of you, and neither do your clones, because there’s a Tenno loose in the sealab. It’s never happened before, no one knows what the Tenno is going to do next, least of all the Tenno. He’s never been in a sealab before, he’s as confused as you are. There’s no experts. They try to find experts on the news. They’re like, “We’re joined now by a man that once saw an operative in the galleon.” Get out of here with that shit! We’ve all seen an operative in the galleon. This is a Tenno loose in the sealab. When a Tenno is loose in the sealab you got to stay updated. So all day long you walk around, “What’d the Tenno do?” The updates, they’re not always bad. Sometimes they’re just odd. It’ll be like, “The Tenno used the friendship door?” I didn’t know he knew how to do that. The creepiest days are when you don’t hear from the Tenno at all. You’re down in the statue room like, “Hey, has anyone…Has anyone heard–” Those are those quiet days when people are like, “It looks like the Tenno has finally calmed down.” And then ten seconds later the Tenno is like, “I’m gonna run towards the Tubeman incubators and smash ’em with my feet. I’ve got guns and a big sword, I’m a Tenno!” That’s what I thought you’d say, you dumb fucking lizard.


And then… then… then you go to brunch with people and they’re like, “There shouldn’t be a Tenno in the sealab.” And it’s like, “We’re well past that.” Then other people are like, “If there’s gonna be a Tenno in the sealab, I’m going to say the N-word on Rathuum.” And those don’t match up at all. And then, for a second, it seemed like maybe we could survive the Tenno, and then, 5,000 miles away, a Sentient was like, “I have a nuclear bomb and I’m going to blow up the sealab!” And before we could say anything, the Tenno was like, “If you even fucking look at the sealab, I will shoot you to death with my amp. I dare you to do it. I want you to do it. I want you to do it so I can shoot you with my amp, I’m so fucking crazy.” “You think you’re fucking crazy, I’m a fucking Sentient. I live in fucking Tau. I’m fucking crazy.” And all of us are like, “Okay.” Like poor Worm Queen at those goddamn reunions. “Okay.” And then, for a second, we were like, “Maybe Captain Vor will catch the Tenno.” And then the Tenno is like, “I have killed Captain Vor again.” He can do that? That shouldn’t be allowed no matter who the Tenno is. I don’t remember that in the Legem.

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