World of Tanks

A different kind of arty dumbass story

WorldofTanks3 - A different kind of arty dumbass story

So I'm in the Skorp G, looking to make some credits after an evening grinding the VK101.1P and Tiger II. We get Overlord, North Spawn, regular game, and it is a 3-5-7 match.

I wait for a few seconds to see where the team is going, and (for once) nobody goes beach. But we can't leave that flank open, so I trundle down and set up the binocs near a handy rock. This way I can spot a push coming (if it does) and if they come one at a time I can maybe do something about it.

Sure enough, a medium pops up, I play "dances with rocks", and I put him down because I can outspot him. A second one comes along and he gets the same treatment. Then I get joined by a light, we push up to the ramp in the middle of the beach, and we fight it out with a couple of lights and a TD who came down to stop our push. The furball that follows kills all the reds, but our light gets killed, and I get sniped by a Skorp on the far cliff – who promptly gets nuked by our arty.

So I have 3k dmg, 2k spotting, and 3 kills – which is reasonable. I'm about to head back to the garage, when I notice that there's been a lot of attrition on the high ground too. Our team is down to a half-health E100 and a pair of low-tier arties (one Yank, one Brit). The reds have an arty and a pair of squishy Russian TD's.

Our arties have run for the beach, and our E100 is midfield. He's also an orange with not a huge amount of games, so I'm guessing the E100 is his only Tier X.

I tell him (in chat) to head for cap so he can pull the enemy to him; he is too slow to go chasing. And Sweet Lob the Lobster God he listens! He gets set up in cap, and he is there, unmolested, for a while (during which, I assume, the red TDs that were going arty hunting turned around). He spots one of the TDs, our arty tracks/stuns him, and the E100 finishes him off. But – as expected – their arty splashes him for a cap reset.

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Our arty pushes farther down the beach, winding up at the base of the ramp to the high ground. The second red TD shows up, and we go through a second cycle of their TD getting splashed/stunned, the E100 hitting him, and the red arty resetting cap. That isn't enough to kill him, so we do it again – and he dies.

So now we have 1:20 left on the game clock, 1:40 left on the cap clock, red only has a single arty (albeit a mobile one) and we have a slow arty and a mobile arty on the ramp that leads to cap.

Our fast arty charges up the ramp, and I point out that all he has to do is drive into the cap circle and we win.

But we are not that lucky – because Windowlicker types "OR KILL!!!" into chat, and charges off into the weeds looking for the other arty.

I and a few other observers do our level best to try and get him to turn around while there is still time, but NOPE, he is in full YOLO mode.

Now one of three things can happen:

Firstly, the red arty could be charging cap. If he does, he isn't going to kill a half-health E100 and between an E100 and 2 arties he is likely going to die. Best choice – sit in cap and wait.

Secondly, he could be sitting in his usual arty hidey-hole waiting to be rushed. Arty on arty bumfights are coinflips… but he'd be out of sight of the E100 so the E100 can't contribute firepower. Odds are that our arty gets killed and the game clock runs out for a draw,

Thirdly, given that he's in a faster arty and he knows that rushing cap is suicide, red arty might try booking it for the draw – that's the smart play. That's what he does. Our arty catches a glimpse of him as he dives over one of the midfield mounds, and turns to chase. The slow arty coming up the ramp gets off a shot that actually splashes and does some damage – but it isn't enough, and the game ends with 10 seconds left on the cap clock.

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Draw.

Goddammit.

So then:

  1. If you are reading this, fast green arty player, you are a moron; and

  2. Red arty player – well played.

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