I wish I was overexaggerating here and maybe it's just a niche personal experience but as someone who recently started out with a tank after taking a break from wow this is really astounding. I never did do a lot of m+, just weekly ones mostly with my former warlock main. Now I started tanking with my prot warrior and it's really baffling how incredibly tense and honestly condescending people are.
For example, there was only a +2 Siege of Boralus I did today on my prot warrior. Everything goes well, only thing I do is struggle a bit with threat generation on it, but otherwise I'm fine. So since we are really good in time (like a guaranteed +2 key upgrade) I ask them to please mind their positioning when we got to the area with the giants. 2 dps don't, however, and we wipe 2 times because they pulled 2-3 packs. I tell them "please be more careful they hit hard for me^^" and what I get as response by both of them is "well if you could play tank properly this wouldn't be a problem. Maybe you should just reroll a braindead class lol". I mind you nobody in the entire dungeon died ONCE up til now. Everything went more than smooth. We eventually bruteforce our way through the section and come to the third boss. A guy tells me to stay behind the corner and even though I tell him "let me pull, easier for me to control and los them" he pulls the boss and all the trash with it. He just says "omfg useless fucking tank" and refuses to accept the res. Instead he just wants to argue with me how I should be able to handle it. We ended up dying 15 more times after that. So we went from a guaranteed +2 upgrade with 0 deaths to a +0 upgrade with 30 deaths.
In short, essentially the whole second half of the dungeon turned into a blamefest where everyone tried to blame everyone else. Only the healer and me where standing there in silence while the dps were raging against a brick wall.
Why is this? This isn't the only time this has happened to me either. Sometimes, even in HEROIC dungeons people are so tense that they start blaming each other and especially me as the tank for the slightest mistake there is, all while standing in the fire themselves. I can accept any sort of criticism but this is just too much. There was a shaman once who at the end of a Freehold dungeon showed me possible routes for less trash and I thanked him for it and to this day we m+ sometimes. I am not trying not to acknowledge my mistakes because I could position better for sure but just saying "omfg tank just fucking tank it" isn't helping at all, and this has been not only part of my m+ experience but my whole dungeon experience as a whole.
So, in short my question is: Why are people, especially dps, so tense all the time, even in heroics and ready to jump at each others throats (especially the one of the tank) the second anyone makes a mistake ( or even if they stand in the fire themselves)? It's like these people don't even want to play the game, more like they force themselves to play it and jump at every opportunity to lash out.
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