World of Warcraft

What if Sylvanas tried to defend her actions for once?

wow6 - What if Sylvanas tried to defend her actions for once?
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(Buckle yourselves in, this is a long post.)

I've joked about this
96zczv - What if Sylvanas tried to defend her actions for once?before. But I seriously think 50% of what makes Sylvanas seem like a villain is just the fact that she almost never tries to justify herself. The other 50% is because Blizzard always keeps making her do impractical over the top things so the Alliance can have their sad moments.

I'm gonna prove how easy it is to spin everything to make Sylvanas look like the only reasonable person here. All I have to do is make her not make any more stupid decisions and defend the ones she's already made.

Here's the scenario I came up with.


After the combined efforts of the Horde Rebels and Alliance to build up Mulgore's defenses they wait for Sylvanas to come. But then two months pass and she doesn't come.

Assuming that she must have been intimidated by their defense everyone including Thrall, Saurfang, Malfurion, Lor'themar, Jaina, Anduin and Baine decide to march to Orgrimmar and confront her for her crimes there.

The armies of the Alliance and Horde Rebels approach the gates of Orgrimmar and demand Sylvanas show herself. And she does.

Saurfang: Sylvanas! We have come to stop you from destroying Thunder Bluff!

Sylvanas: Why the heck would I do that?

Saurfang: Uhhh, because we freed Baine?

Sylvanas: Yeah, Baine's a pain in the ass for me but the Tauren make up a large portion of my forces and hold key positions up and down my chain of command. Just because their leader is a traitor doesn't mean they all are.

Baine: The only traitor here is you!

Sylvanas: No I'm pretty sure it's you Baine. You conspired with the Alliance for their benefit while we at war with them. In fact it seems you're such an asset to the Alliance that they actually sent some of their most elite members to free you, proving me right that you are more valuable to our enemies free than in chains.

murmuring comes from the Horde army

Baine: All I'm guilty of is showing compassion!

Sylvanas: Uh huh, it's funny you have all that compassion for that one human prince but not for the thousands of Tauren who are still dying as we continue to speak. You do realize the war is still going on right? It didn't just come to a halt because you and your friends got chummy with the Alliance. Horde soldiers are still dying and I was trying to find a quick way to end it in our favor without sacrificing hundreds of thousands of lives and you sabotaged it because you felt bad.

more murmuring from the Horde army

Saurfang: But you're the one who started this war in the first place!

Sylvanas: No Saurfang you started it. All I did was imply that I thought that a preemptive strike was in our best interests, everything else you. The slaughter of Astranaar, burning the forests, killing Malfurion, you came up with those plans and I was entirely hands off.

Night Elves in the Alliance army begin to glare at Saurfang

Saurfang: But you burned the tree!

Sylvanas: Yeah after you failed to kill Malfurion which was YOUR plan. Do you think after seeing a miracle like that the civilian populace of Darnassus was just going to roll over for us? No, they would resist and we'd end up butchering thousands of civilians anyway while losing countless Horde soldiers in the process. I had to commit genocide to save the lives of our soldiers because you couldn't stick to your own fucking plan!

Horde soldiers murmur some more

Saurfang: But it was a dishonorable strike!

Sylvanas: Oh give me a break, I've been keeping track and your definition of "honor" changes every week. Was sending in the Rogues to kill all the guards and civilians in Astranaar "honorable" was bribing them with promises of loot from Darnassus "honorable"?

Night Elf glaring intensifies

Sylvanas: Do you know what I think is "honorable" Saurfang? Not willingly languishing in an enemy prison when you had the chance to escape and rejoin your brothers in arms! Do you ever think how many lives you could have saved if you didn't just hide under Stormwind crying and conspiring against the Horde with the Boy King?

Horde soldiers start to shuffle away from Saurfang upon hearing this information

Sylvanas: Oh and by the way. Do you know how many Horde lives Malfurion has taken just last week? Because it a LOT. And he doesn't give any clean deaths. He totally could just snap some necks but instead he literally pulls people into the ground and lets them suffocate. Thousands of Horde soldiers have been subjected to that horrific death and you could have prevented it.

soldiers on both sides start looking at Malfurion with horrified expressions

Malfurion: But you kill people with the Blight!

Sylvanas: Which is a far quicker death than suffocation I'll tell you that right now. Also everyone talks about the Blight at Lordaeron but no one talks about Anduin using the Flametrons. Do you ever think about how many soldiers were burned alive with those Anduin? It's an agonizing death. I have hundreds of survivors from the Battle for Lordaeron whose bodies have been permanently disfigured because their flesh was melted and fused in the fires. Most are afraid to leave their homes out of fear of people staring at their disfigurements.

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Anduin shifts uncomfortably

Sylvanas: While we're on the subject of things you've done Anduin, I find it funny that you come to stop me from "attacking Mulgore" when you were attempting the exact same thing just a few months ago. I have the reports here and
here.

the Tauren in the Horde army glare at Anduin

Thrall: Enough of this Sylvanas! You sent assassins to kill me and my family!

Sylvanas: Why would I do that? You were totally pacified minding your own business on a shattered rock in space. Why would I risk bringing you into this when you clearly wouldn't otherwise?

Thrall: But Saurfang said he followed them!

Sylvanas: Thrall listen. If I wanted you dead, I wouldn't send assassins so incompetent that they wouldn't notice a seven foot tall Orc in plate armor tailing them in an open field okay?

Thrall: But who else would send Undead Assassins to kill me?

Sylvanas: I don't control every single Undead in the world you know. You're kind of jumping to conclusions. They could've been from the Twilight's Hammer, it could have been neutral mercenaries hired by the Alliance to frame me, hell maybe Saurfang hired them to get you off your lazy ass and then killed them before they could tell the truth. Arthas did something similar in Northrend and it worked well for him.

Sylvanas turns to Lor'themar

Sylvanas: And what the hell are you doing here you ingrate? Quel'thalas owes its continued existence to me. If I didn't send my forces to the Ghostlands the Scourge would have overwhelmed you years ago and if I hadn't petitioned Thrall to bring you into the Horde the Amani would have destroyed Silvermoon. Also by the way, those forces that are STILL stationed there aren't cheap you know. Do you know how much easier it would have been for me to sweep over Lordaeron and Gilneas if I had those soldiers freed up? I've invested so much to keep Quel'thalas safe in both life and death and this is how you repay me?

Blood Elves in the Horde army begin murmuring

Genn: How dare you talk about the slaughter of my people so casually! You were never provoked yet you killed them like animals!

Sylvanas: Well actually Gilneas was Garrosh's idea I just took over to stop him from deliberately squandering the Forsaken. So take that up with him… oh wait. Also you still need to answer for


at the eleventh hour of the world.

Genn: But you were trying to enslave the Val'kyr!

Sylvanas: Exactly. I was. The fleet was for the Horde champion to retrieve the Aegis of Aggramar. I went by myself and told no one to follow me. So all you accomplished was buying Skovald more time. The champion only beat Skovald by a few minutes but they could have beaten him by days if they had my forces behind them. Or heck maybe your champion could have got there first instead with your forces if you didn't force me to blow up your airship and then waste your troops to harass mine. It really didn't matter in the end since you still stopped me alone. You nearly doomed Azeroth for nothing Genn and you should be ashamed of that.

both armies start cursing Genn for jeopardizing the entire world

Anduin: What about Southshore?!

Sylvanas: What about it? It was a valid military target, it was a port town that brought in troops and supplies to the Alliance forces in Lordaeron. Isn't that the same logic your father to butcher Taurajo or is it only okay when the Alliance does it?

everyone is silent

Sylvanas: Right I think that just about answers everything.

Sylvanas looks at the Horde rebels

Sylvanas: I'm extending a pardon to any rebels who want to switch sides. You can either stick with the Alliance who have been trying to murder you all for the greater part of the past year or you can join me and be the heroes who killed all of the Alliance leaders and ended the war.

ninety percent of the Horde army switches to Sylvanas' side.

Sylvanas: Cool. Everyone kill all the Alliance and arrest the traitors.

And so the war ended, all the Alliance leaders' heads were put on pikes outside of Orgrimmar, Sylvanas killed and raised all of the humans, then killed N'zoth which magicked her into a good person so she could die and go to WoW heaven and everyone lived happily ever after. The End.


It really speaks to how flimsy and poorly written this story is when it's this easy to unravel all of it.

P.S. If you were expecting me to spin Brennadam or the Before the Storm thing. Well I can't. Those moments are just so dumb and nonsensical that I'm kind of afraid to touch them.

Source: Original link


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