This will be a long read. If you'd like to listen instead, I've included an audio-book YouTube link
I started playing WoW about 10 years ago, near the end of TBC. I started out on the Roleplaying server Moon Guard and have been playing on it ever since. My journey started in Eversong Woods as a Blood Elf Hunter. I didn't really grasp the concept of role playing because I was only about 12 years old, but the idea of pretending to be somebody else in a fantasy world really gripped me. I was that kid that fought imaginary bad/guys on my neighborhood street, after all.
Anyways, I inevitably got in to RPing, and after a few months, I actually got a pretty decent grasp of how to do it properly(feel free to HMU if you have any questions about it, I'd love to help). My problems started when I met my first RP girlfriend, a Blood Elf Mage named Rosilana. Things started out innocent between us. Our characters would hold hands and maybe give each other a peck on the lips once in awhile. However, things gradually became more heated between our characters, and everything suddenly changed one day when Rosilana suggested that we "ERP".
We were young. I didn't really understand what the implications of "ERP" were, but to keep it sfw, let's say it's when you have your characters rub their happy-parts together. I figured 'what's the harm in that?' It would just develop the character's storyline further, right? It did. But it also developed something else. While our characters were going at it, I felt a strange sensation; something completely new to me. I had never masterbated before so I didn't understand what was going on at the time, but let's just say that my rage bar was full and I didn't know how to spend it. It was an uncomfortable experience for me, but oddly… satisfactory, I guess? I had no idea that EVERYTHING was about to change for me. We finished our embarrassing ERP session, and like a seed was planted in her character, a seed was planted in my mind.
It started out curious. I couldn't stop thinking about what our characters had done. At the time, our characters were just /laying on top of each other without any clothes on. It wasn't very descriptive. I had to dig deeper. I had to know what the experience REALLY felt like. What it REALLY looked like. So I went on google. I typed "blood elf naked". Oh. My. God. As soon as I saw it, I felt like a phoenix awakened inside of my chest. My entire body was hot. I was literally sweating. Once again, I felt my rage bar begin to fill up, and I closed the website down. I felt… guilty. I don't know how to explain it. It's like a feeling of shame washed over me, but I didn't even know what to be shameful about. I lived in a Christian household at the time; were these the forbidden feelings that I was warned about?
The next day at school, I went to one of my friends who also played WoW at the time. We'll call him Ross. I explained to him what Rosilana and I did, and the way that it made me feel. I honestly thought that he was just going to laugh at me, but I had nobody else to go to. To my surprise, he didn't. In fact, we even went through our little "bro" moment and he congratulated me with a fist-bump. Ross told me that I "got in" which I kind of just passed off as a joke. Then, I told him about what I searched on google the day prior. I think he saw how I naive I was then, because he actually just responded with, and I won't forget it, "Dude, you've never jerked your dick?" I bursted out laughing, and he joined, but I think it was at my expense. He told me to meet him at lunch later where he'd explain everything, and he did. I went home at the end of that day, ready to explore.
I closed my door. I fired up google. I typed "naked blood elf", and hit enter. I'll let you infer on what happened next.
I. Was. Hooked. I spent the entire rest of the day surfing the web for blood elves, and when I came around to logging on to WoW, I saw Rosilana was online. I whispered her, asking if she'd like to ERP. She said yes. We did our thing. When my rage-bar was full, I knew how to properly spend my points, and I can with utmost confidence tell you that it was the most DPS i've ever put out in a single go.
Things would continue like this. I spent most of my life outside of school on WoW. I was getting older, and I was being conditioned by numerous amounts of RP partners and r34 "WoW" threads, to the point that it became the only thing that I could think about. The only thing that I could, well, spend my rage to. As I progressed in to adulthood, I actually managed to find a few girlfriends out in the real world; this was after my 5-year WoW relationship with Rosilana failed. Won't get in to that here, but if you want to know more I might make another post about it. Anyways, I couldn't ever manage to keep a girlfriend because I simply could not perform in the bedroom. Plain and simple. I can only get off to WoW characters, or WoW roleplay. Make fun of me all you like, but this is a serious problem that I'm not sure how to address.
I grew up associating sexual pleasure with World of Warcraft, and now I can't shake that mindset. I only sub to BFA to get my daily fap in. I'm serious. I'm grateful that today I'm in a WoW relationship where my partner acknowledges my problem and agrees to ERP with me every day, otherwise we wouldn't be able to do anything. She actually visited about 2 months ago, and we weren't able to have sex because she isn't a blood elf. Luckily she brought her laptop, she went in to the next room and I was able to get off to her character, and then we went out and got ice-cream. I. Need. Help. I don't know what to do, so I'm turning to reddit. Should I press legal charges on Blizzard for crippling my life? Should I cut off all of my RP friends? I don't know what to do.
Source: Original link
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