Number 10: Eris Morn
Everyone wants a big tiddy goth GF in their lives, and if you say you don’t then you’re lying. In terms of goth, Eris is the peak. Nothing says goth like getting haunted by the ghosts of your dead friends, and even then she pulls the look off with style.
Number 9: Ana Bray
Ahh, the Martian Maiden. Truely the bane of a many hearts, Ana bray sits comfortably at number 9. Ana bray can talk to the warmind, which means she’s smart. It also probably means she watched Rick and Morty, and even understands all the humour.
Number 8: Tower NPC 19
You know what’s sexier than a tragic backstory or a good taste in TV? Consistency. For the entire game, Tower NPC 19 has stood there flawlessly and carried her job out to the max, guarding the tower from lunatic guardians. Rumour says that if you follow her for 100 hours straight, you get some rare dialogue.
Number 7: Ikora Rey
The bald headed bombshell lands like a (totally hacked) second nova bomb at spot 7, cementing her spot without a doubt. Mmhmm, yep. A very good spot, admirable even! (Ms Rey please I put you on the list please put the ‘nade away!)
Number 6: Lakshmi-2
Few words can describe the beauty of Lakshmi-2 correctly. Sleek, simple, warmongering… scratch that last one. Politics is a tough job during this kind of time, and you gotta respect Lakshmi-2 for sticking with it. Now, off to join the cult-aAahhh, wait! It’s an education centre…
Number 5: Petra Venj.
The first Awoken lady in the list comes in pretty high, and for good reasons! She’s a strong warrior, a war tactician and total beauty guru, I mean look at those lashes girrrrl~ Mmh yeah twirl that knife, just don’t cut off another fing…AHH SHI-
Number 4: Exo female face model 3
There’s just something about this. It seems almost… perfect, like it was meant to be. The amount of detail felt beneath this face will bring any boy to his knees, and horny boys subbed to the only fans. We’re playing checkers while she’s playing chess.
Number 3 : Mara Sov:
The Awoken Queen scores pretty high, ranking third in the objective list. Power is sexy, and right now there’s nothing stronger than her… until the next expansion where an arbitrary power increase happens. But until then just dream about your head in her blue thighs~
Number 2: Sweeper Bot
You thought number 8 was a good perk for consistency? You weren’t looking close enough. Sure, Tower NPC 19 has been on guard for a few years now, but Sweeper Bot has been sweeping since the incarnation of time, setting out on a crusade against all dust.
Number 1: Calus
You thought only girls were on this list? This waifu ranking is gender inclusive, thank you very much! Power is sexy, and consistency is sexy, but you know what’s better? Sitting around all day, getting high on spores and getting drunk as hell with that purple stuff Calus has! Later you can watch the sport, and reminisce on that time he killed you with a robot but it’s all good because you killed it back.
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