Destiny 2

Top tip: use the bathroom before doing the Zero Hour mission with Puzzle…

destiny2 6 - Top tip: use the bathroom before doing the Zero Hour mission with Puzzle...

Let me tell you a little story. Are you sitting comfortably..? I can tell you I wasn’t!!

Picture the scene; second to last reset before the content vault, a clanmate who has recently returned needs to finish his WOTW and Outbreak Catalysts. Being a helpful clan admin, and already being over prepared myself I happily oblige.

We start with WOTW, me and a buddy speed ahead whilst he gets the chests, great run, we have to slow down killing the bosses so that he can get the last chest. 👌

We think “that went well”, let’s go straight into Zero Hour. We queue immediately and start swapping in our fallen mods… this was the moment of my foley….

Run also goes well, we helped him last week too so it’s fresh in my mind. After some hi-jinks sword-ing each other off the jumping puzzle and “accidentally” standing on the floor trap while someone is crossing we start the puzzle with plenty of time…

<there were rumbles in the deep>

I’m reading at terminal 1, for some reason I can’t pick up the cards (I guess as I’ve already completed it) so I can’t activate the terminals, only read. No big deal, I bring up a solver and we hit our stride.

<the beast awakens>

It starts to dawn on me that I need the bathroom, number 2. I don’t think much of it and focus on doing the puzzle.

Then the realisation…. I had a large spicy curry for dinner….

<tremors begin>


I shuffle awkwardly in my chair, thankful that it’s only an IKEA one if the worst occurs. I try to guesstimate how far through the puzzle we are, maybe half way?

I notify my fireteam of the danger, they merely chuckle and suggest slowing down to extract merciless humour from my predicament.

<a hurricane forms>

I remind my clan mate that I’m not the one who needs to complete this. His focus sharpens and we begin to rattle through steps; “1-6” “3-7” “Green room 4”. There is no other communication, the risks are known.

Some wind escapes unbidden, blissfully the pain subsides for a moment. But then the scent of eggs betrays the true terror soon to come.

<eye of the storm>

Sweat forms on my brow as I try to exert some hidden powers of control on my bowels. We must be nearly done, we MUST be!!

The worst seems inevitable.

<warning sirens>

At last the tone indicating the puzzle completion releases me. I blurt “right you can kill the boss” and run…

Due to the extended build up the event is thankfully short. I breath a sigh of relief, perform the necessary disaster clean up and return to help finish off the boss.

If that isn’t clan dedication I don’t know what is .

Moral of the story: Get a better gaming chair, you know, one with facilities…

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