Day 86 of Finesse Shot Simulator 2019 – A Christmas Miracle! (Finale)

FIFA19 4 - Day 86 of Finesse Shot Simulator 2019 - A Christmas Miracle! (Finale)


… I was stood as Ronaldo does over a free kick, legs apart. It was like being back at school playing ‘stuck in the mud’. I enjoy thinking that originally back at United Ronaldo wouldn’t take the free kick till Park Ji Sung crawled through his legs so he could move…

As I started moving my leg like an Alan Partridge traction engine I felt something land on my nose. A snowflake. Then another. And another. It was a Christmas miracle, a sign from above. I felt a warm glow inside.

‘Maybe FIFA isn’t that bad after all’, I thought to myself. It has its flaws and there are areas to be improved, but does that not just show how passionate us players really are? We just want a good FIFA game, one that can bring the joy of football into our homes. One that we can bond with friends over. One that can create the nostalgic feeling of playing the FIFAs of years gone by. We ultimately decide if we’re going to enjoy it or not, we can chose to laugh instead of rage at the ridiculous, to not participate in stress inducing weekend leagues or even to use teams just because we like the players.

The warm feeling from before got warmer. Mr Bubbles didn’t look so smug anymore. The warm feeling got warmer again, now to the point where it was slightly uncomfortable. It was Christmas Eve and I was outside physically sweating. I turned around to see flames coming from the back garden. This wasn’t snow at all, it was ash billowing from my carefully constructed Adley 4’ x 6’ Overlap Apex Shed. I’d left a candle on and now the whole thing was very literally going up in smoke.

The rage returned.

What was I thinking ‘we ultimately decide if we enjoy FIFA’. How can you enjoy this abomination of a FIFA game. I could plug a joystick into an ATM for the same experience – the whole thing is designed to rinse you dry. Maybe if the effort spent on designing FIFA point amounts so that you’re left with just enough to need to buy some more was devoted to gameplay and content it’d be a half decent game. EA have destroyed their only rival in PES by splashing ridiculous amounts on league, player and tournament licenses, then offered Youtubers exclusive content for their channels in the game changers program so they can’t be criticised. They are untouchable and don’t they know it. This massive fanbase it constantly left disappointed, not helped by the fact EA and poor customer communication are as good a pair as the Spanish courts and high profile tax evasion cases.

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They’ve shown their intentions from the very start when the daily reward of a 7.5k pack if you’re lucky was deemed ‘to good’. Then through creating SBCs riddled with errors that would eventually be removed and having pack odds smaller than the chance of Liverpool not bottling the league title. It’s all about the money and until the impossible happens and there is some real competition to their game, we have no choice but to give them what they want, our hard earned cash.

Mr Bubbles flew. If there was a real life equivalent of a FIFA timed finesse shot this what it. I ran into the middle of the road, straight into the Ronaldo celebration, accompanied with a very loud ‘SUUUU!’. Sue from across the road was out in the front garden asking what I wanted so I had to explain that Ronaldo did it at an award ceremony etc etc. She had no idea what I was taking about and it kind of ruined the moment for me.

I knew the neighbours would be home soon, but I had a plan. I packed my suitcase with all the essentials – clothes, money and 10190 LEGO Market Street with sister set 15002 LEGO Cafe Corner both new in box. I had bought a flight to Romania in the aftermath of being hacked to seek some movie style revenge but the flight got cancelled. Wasn’t the end of the world though, I was having a great time flying my drone around when I found out the flight was off, there so much space at Gatwick it’s great!

The ticket had certainly come in useful now though, my journey was drawing to a close!

So that’s where I am right now. Waiting in Gatwick for a one way flight to Romania. My new start away from the stress of life and FIFA!

Seen as you’ve given up your time reading these posts when you could have easily been doing something better like staring at walls or watching trees grow, I’ll give something back to you! I’ll reply to any comment, it’s only my duty to share the wisdom I have gained over these past few days.

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Merry Christmas!

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