Is She a Keeper? #3

FIFA19 3 - Is She a Keeper? #3

Morning all, some of you may remember back in October/November I got my mrs to open my FUT Champs Player Picks and she was actually really lucky, pulling 84+ rated cards 7/8 times!

Well having taken a quick 6 months off we are back, like Scotland in 2050 when they finally reach a tournament again.

Not gonna lie it was a shitty WL. I was rusty and people were sweating buckets. Never mind, I had my trusty (and crusty) towel and deodorant next to me. I got to gold 3 with 5 games to spare. It’s happening! PL player picks here I come! One win. 4 games left……

Cough cough…… splutter… then a choke like I’m at the fucking gallows. Amongst the whirlwind of emotions at that point the top two were me being relieved it was over and my pug looking at me with her ears flat back, with an expression that said ‘you gonna stop shouting bro? Coz if you don’t imma smack ya’.

Fast forward to Thursday and rewards come out, but me and my mrs are at work so the event is postponed till the evening. One (successful) cricket match and a banging Maccies later, we are ready to go!

I hadn’t made a conscious effort to accumulate packs, but I’d managed to get 15 packs in about a day from Rivals, WL and SBCs. This could be good….

We start with the player picks, accompanied by the traditional eye-roll and ‘fucking saddo’ comment. First pick….. drum roll…. Saudi….. Saudi….. and fucking Saudi. Feck. Could this be happening? Could I have to divorce her when we’ve just booked a weekend away to Paris? She had one chance, one shot to redeem herself. Drum roll…… Saudi…. Docherty …. ffs…. Laporte! That’ll do love! She was definitely ecstatic with her performance, as she said ‘I DONT FUCKING CARE STOP SAYING IVE DONE WELL’.

Read:  So I just went down from 1750 to 0 Skillpoints...

Onto the packs! ‘How many of these have I got to do?’…. ‘15’….. ‘oh for fuck sake hurry up then’.

The first 4 Rare players packs are a steaming pile of turd, with just a couple of 84s. But then we get the EA Logo… she’s back with a bang! BLUE….. CB…. Moroccan cunting flag. I’ve just picked this arsehole from the first player pick pick. Luckily the dickhead is tradable so he gets sold quicker than Django and we move on. At this point the mrs is getting really into it; ‘When will this be over you sad man-child?’. She’s clearly loving the lime-light.

A couple more packs of drivel then that sexy EA logo again… drumroll….. Casemiro! That’s not too shabby actually and will go towards the Shearer PM. Just a few more ‘I don’t fucking care’ and ‘are we done yet?’ And we come to the final pack. Logo! Skrinar, meh he’s like 20k so that’s decent. ‘I’m never doing this again’ she says. Maybe she does read this sub after all?

Overall I’ll give her 8 wife-points out of 10. It was a good performance seeing as I only finished gold 3 so there were no guarantees. She’ll have to improve though as she was perilously close to entering the manager merry-go-round. See ya next time!

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