God of War

God of War – One Giant Fetch Quest

God of War 1 - God of War - One Giant Fetch Quest

I just finished God of War, and while it was a fun and beautifully made game, I couldnt help but feel like the overarching plot consisted of an unending series of fetch quests.

The basis of the plot is that the wife/mother dies and it's your job to spread her ashes on the highest peak of the realm, per her wishes. But climbing this peak is not the issue, no; it's the hundreds of enemies whose sole purpose in life is to keep you from accomplishing this task. So you head toward the peak and almost reach the top, but wait! There is some black smoke stopping you from getting there. So here's a bifrost to help you get through it. But wait! The bifrost has lost its light, so you'll need to go to Alfheim to power it back up again. So you traverse the entire realm of Aflheim and power the bifrost back up again. You get to the top of the peak. But wait! You discover there's an even higher peak! And the only way to get there is by stealing a rune from Odyn. So you manage to find and steal the rune, but wait! The only way there gets smashed to pieces in the process. So now you need to find another way, but wait! Your son is now sick and you need to go through helheim to kill some beast to save your son. So you save him and discover there may be some other way to that high peak. At this point, youd think someone would stop and say "you know…maybe she wont mind so much if we just spread her ashes on the SECOND highest peak. Shes dead afterall." But no, we must continue this noble quest. So you go find another way to Jotenheim, but wait! The temple is flipped. So you flip it back and are ready to go to Jotenheim now. But wait! Tyr left two entire dungeons worth of tests to make sure you're worthy. Ok, NOW you can go to Jotenheim. But wait! Only Tyr can actually use the key because he has cool eyes. Luckily your severed-head-friend has eyes too. But wait! He's actually missing an eye, and his other eye is inside a giant beast, and if you could go and fetch it, then we can totally for sure go to Jotenheim. So you enter the beast and retrieve the eye. But wait! When you leave the beast, Freya sicks her possessed giant on you and Baldur tries to kill you. So you kill Baldur, and finally you can get to Jotunheim, a land that Tyr made great lengths to protect. Except there's literally nothing there worth protecting but some old ruins, verifying your theory at this point that all of this entire plot was a giant Mcguffin.


Again, great game, but toward the end I was just groaning at all the ridiculously tedious steps I had to take to complete a very menial and unimportant task. What sane person would risk their life just to spread some ashes? Let alone risk their life over, and over, and over. I really hope the next game has a more noble purpose to its plot.

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