Grand Theft Auto V

Black taxi customers are my favourite taxi customers.

GrandTheftAutoV5 - Black taxi customers are my favourite taxi customers.

Here's the thing: I don't have a driver's license in real life. I'm a 30-year-old long-term student, procrastinating on my 22nd half-year. So naturally I play a lot. Back in like 1996 a buddy of my brother copied us a version of GTA I. I've been hooked ever since. The GTA edition I've played the most is San Andreas. The last thing I needed for 100% was the 50th photo opportunity. I swear I've spent hours using the guide book to verify all spots until I eventually zoomed in far enough to get the one at the replica of the Golden Gate Bridge north of San Fierro. I spent the next 100 hours of playing in the search for Bigfoot in the Badlands. To no avail. Screw it, I enjoyed every second of it. Now before I specify my fondness of coloured taxi customers, I'm gonna let you in on something that many GTA aficionados will consider a sacrilege to say: I was never really able to acquire a taste for Vice City. The infamous helicopter mission was just one symptom to me. Hell, I've finished all SA missions for Zero RC. I've stopped smoking temporarily to get all oysters, I've fallen off the cliffs of Mt. Chiliad dozens of times before finishing the BMX mission in the 1st place. I have put so many hours into getting gold at the airport school, I could have just gotten my actual, real-life driving license. The thing is, I never got into the VC controls. No walking while crouching, no free camera whilst driving, a rudimentary auto-aiming system. My point is…even back in VC my favourite activity was driving taxi, listening to Michael Jackson, while getting my customers to their favourite location on the beach.


Now I've played GTA V to 50,6%. Loving every second. Objectively and for me even subjectively it is a better game than SA, even though some fun aspects are missing. What am I doing all the time, whenever I've started the game? I'm either choosing Michael or Franklin (Trevor to me isn't the typical cab driver), enter my go-to car and drive around looking for a cab. When I find a cab, I borrow it and I do like 10 to 20 taxi jobs in a row. And that's basically the bridge to my point: While I've had black customers not paying their fare, it is an extremely rare incidence, while redneck-looking guys are often troublesome. Also, and I don't have statistical evidence for this, black mates give handsome tips. I'm kinda stoned, but seriously don't you just love hearing "Let's get this cherry/sharry/sherry/charry/ in motion!" Please tell me the correct version of the word they (I probably didn't even come close with the four options) say. I'm not a native English speaker. Anyways, I just love driving people out to the country with some smooth country music on Rebel Radio and just before I'm riding back into the city, I put on some upbeat Backstreet Boys. Few things in this world are nicer. Except for hearing "Pay respect to the cherry/sharry/sherry/charry/, homes!".

Anyway, no matter if you are black, white, or purple with green spots…tip your drivers well and have an awesome day everybody! 🙂

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