Monster Hunter World

Buffoons and Balloons (a.k.a. My adventure in hunting Paolumu)

MonsterHunterWorld10 - Buffoons and Balloons (a.k.a. My adventure in hunting Paolumu)

Playing a relatively new character (I create new characters, like, every other week because I have a problem), got to the mandatory Paolumu quest that opens up the Rotten Vale. This is the story of how a should-have-been-simple hunt turned straight-up Three Stooges.

Jump into hunt

Drugs, stamina boosters, health boosters, grab flash pods, you know the drill

Also brought trap and sleep bombs in case I feel like capping instead

Two Large Barrel Bombs if I feel like trying (and most likely failing) to nuke the bastard

Fighting with Greatsword, my worst weapon, because I wish suffering upon myself I guess

Get going, find Lumu floating around

Heaven or Hell

Round One


Ten minutes later, actually isn't going horribly, or maybe Lumu just felt bad for me trying to sling an enormous slab of steel around

"Join settings complete!"


I didn't fire any SOS flares

"Health adjusted for multiplayer"

Kay, guess we're doing this, then

In the distance, I see a fellow hunter coming my way to engage in Jolly Cooperation

It's a Charge Blade

Well, at least somebody here will be putting out respectable damage, sure as shit won't be me, though

That'd be a much different story if I could actually hit Paolumu

CB runs in and cuts loose with his mighty axe


Paolumu blows us both over

CB's palico puts down a vigorwasp on the opposite end of the arena, behind Paolumu

Thanks a whole bunch, idiot

I realize my weapon is down to yellow, so I stop to sharpen, thinking CB will keep Lumu busy

He stands there and waits for me to finish

Luckily, my palico had stunned Lumu, proving himself more useful than the both of us and CB's palico combined

Should probably put some effort into giving Cat a proper name, he deserves it


The fight resumes, and is a clusterfuck of both of us either whiffing, bouncing off, or fucking up wallbang attempts

Pretty sure my palico contributed 90% of the damage in the fight

CB's palico just flat out stopped contributing after a couple minutes

Fast forward through this bullshit, Lumu flies off, CB attempts to flash


I also attempt to flash

Didn't put your flash pods on, dipshit

Chase Lumu back to his nest

Figure I'll spare us our aching dignities and cap him, he was limping before he flew off

Sleep bombs, shock trap

Guess it would've helped if he had a skull over his icon, huh?

Lumu breaks out of trap and starts flying

I finally remember my flash pods and load up

Don't see CB clutch onto Lumu's face

Fire flash pod

Lumu goes down, knocks CB out of a tenderize attempt

if CB could've flipped me off, I'm sure he would have

My palico bops Lumu with his weapon, it paralyzes Lumu and gives me the time to TCS

Land first two hits, utterly whiff the third somehow

CB attempts SAED

He hit Lumu, sure, but I took the brunt of it

CB finally manages to wallbang Lumu

My palico bops him again, paralyzes him for what has to be the fifth time this hunt

The fuck kind of weapon did I give that cat?

Shame the paralyze didn't proc when Lumu was hopped up on tranquilizers, though

I smack Lumu in the face one last time

Fight's over

My palico's back is broken from carrying our useless asses

I'll just bribe Handler with a sandwich and have her tell people we were way cooler than what actually happened

If you SOS and get a response from a GS named Paola, wearing a hodgepodge of Bone, High Metal, Gajau and Kulu armor pieces, I'm sorry in advance.

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