Playing a relatively new character (I create new characters, like, every other week because I have a problem), got to the mandatory Paolumu quest that opens up the Rotten Vale. This is the story of how a should-have-been-simple hunt turned straight-up Three Stooges.
Jump into hunt
Drugs, stamina boosters, health boosters, grab flash pods, you know the drill
Also brought trap and sleep bombs in case I feel like capping instead
Two Large Barrel Bombs if I feel like trying (and most likely failing) to nuke the bastard
Fighting with Greatsword, my worst weapon, because I wish suffering upon myself I guess
Get going, find Lumu floating around
Heaven or Hell
Ten minutes later, actually isn't going horribly, or maybe Lumu just felt bad for me trying to sling an enormous slab of steel around
"Join settings complete!"
I didn't fire any SOS flares
"Health adjusted for multiplayer"
Kay, guess we're doing this, then
In the distance, I see a fellow hunter coming my way to engage in Jolly Cooperation
It's a Charge Blade
Well, at least somebody here will be putting out respectable damage, sure as shit won't be me, though
That'd be a much different story if I could actually hit Paolumu
CB runs in and cuts loose with his mighty axe
Paolumu blows us both over
CB's palico puts down a vigorwasp on the opposite end of the arena, behind Paolumu
Thanks a whole bunch, idiot
I realize my weapon is down to yellow, so I stop to sharpen, thinking CB will keep Lumu busy
He stands there and waits for me to finish
Luckily, my palico had stunned Lumu, proving himself more useful than the both of us and CB's palico combined
Should probably put some effort into giving Cat a proper name, he deserves itЗагрузка...
The fight resumes, and is a clusterfuck of both of us either whiffing, bouncing off, or fucking up wallbang attempts
Pretty sure my palico contributed 90% of the damage in the fight
CB's palico just flat out stopped contributing after a couple minutes
Fast forward through this bullshit, Lumu flies off, CB attempts to flash
I also attempt to flash
Didn't put your flash pods on, dipshit
Chase Lumu back to his nest
Figure I'll spare us our aching dignities and cap him, he was limping before he flew off
Sleep bombs, shock trap
Guess it would've helped if he had a skull over his icon, huh?
Lumu breaks out of trap and starts flying
I finally remember my flash pods and load up
Don't see CB clutch onto Lumu's face
Fire flash pod
Lumu goes down, knocks CB out of a tenderize attempt
if CB could've flipped me off, I'm sure he would have
My palico bops Lumu with his weapon, it paralyzes Lumu and gives me the time to TCS
Land first two hits, utterly whiff the third somehow
CB attempts SAED
He hit Lumu, sure, but I took the brunt of it
CB finally manages to wallbang Lumu
My palico bops him again, paralyzes him for what has to be the fifth time this hunt
The fuck kind of weapon did I give that cat?
Shame the paralyze didn't proc when Lumu was hopped up on tranquilizers, though
I smack Lumu in the face one last time
My palico's back is broken from carrying our useless asses
I'll just bribe Handler with a sandwich and have her tell people we were way cooler than what actually happened
If you SOS and get a response from a GS named Paola, wearing a hodgepodge of Bone, High Metal, Gajau and Kulu armor pieces, I'm sorry in advance.
Source: Original link
© Post "Buffoons and Balloons (a.k.a. My adventure in hunting Paolumu)" for game Monster Hunter World.
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