Monster Hunter World

Do you have time to talk about our lord and savior, thonker of all heads, the Hammer?

MonsterHunterWorld5 - Do you have time to talk about our lord and savior, thonker of all heads, the Hammer?

Well if you don't you best fucking make some time because by the time we're done here you will want to put away your inferior weaponry and join the Church of Bonk.

Now, if you are a dual blade using heratic you may be wondering why you should should use this glorious hunk of metal/bones, well the greatness of hammers can be summarized in 3 characteristics

Power, Mobility, and Blunt Force Trauma Induced Seizures

Let's break this down

Mobility: Despite what you may think the hammer is quite mobile. Being faster will help you get hit less, and sadly the hammer can't permanently keep the monster flailing around on the ground due to being repeatedly donked in the head, so the monster will attemp to hit you, and you can't thunk heads if you are curled up in the fetal position in a kitty cart. Mobility also helps so get into prime head wacking positions and chase down the monster when they inevitably run away like a lil bitch when the realize how much it hurts to have their skull shattered, repeatedly.

Power: Very few weapons can compete with the raw DPS the hammer produces on stationary targets and its single hit damage rivals that of the greatsword. All you gotta do is smack the head till they fall over then methodically grind the contents of their skull into a fine paste, repeat until they either don't get back up or no longer have a face to bonk, whichever happens first.


Blunt Force Trauma Induce Seizures: Conveniently, the hammer deals lots of KO damage which, when correctly applied to the head, causes the target to lie on the ground in agony for a substantial amount of time. And as you know the prime time for head thunking is when a monster is on the ground having a seizure due to blunt force trauma.

Put all this together and you will wreck face, literally.

As amazing as the hammer is, it does have weaknesses, although few. If you release a maximum charged hammer while moving you will do the beyblade attack, although this looks amazing it does awful damage, brutally murders your sharpness, makes you move slow as hell and has 5-7 business days of end-lag, which will give you plenty of time to cry about how all end game hammers look the exact fucking same (seriously I miss my heads on sticks, let me donk heads with another head, Capcom). Also, FUCK THAT STUPID LAVA FISH.


Side effects of using hammer may include:

Memory loss

A sense of superiority over users of all other weapons

Overwhelming urge to hit things in the face really hard

Memory loss

As well as a massive upsurge in testosterone

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