Listen here, you fat sack of adorable.
I have worked endlessly since I first saw your kind in Elder Recess to ONLY capture them because Dodogamas are FLIPPING ADORABLE. I went through countless hunts, doing everything in my power to ensure I never killed a single one of your people. I would race to your sleeping nest to capture you, thinking to myself that you’d make an adorable pet if you weren’t so gigantic.
So, when I spy that tiny little blue fat face in the bottom left corner of the map upon loading in, I gasped in horror. They put a Dodogama in this mission solely for Jho Jhostar to throw at me. So, I rushed my ass to the Pickle and threw my life, free time, and a questionable number of Max Potions and Mega Demondrugs/Armorskins to make sure that you didn’t get thrown about by the Pickle.
Countless (I think four) hunts went on, trying in vain to slay the invader. I began another and noticed something irregular: Your spot was the same as his. In a panic, I rush to the lava zone and spy that he has you in his ugly maw already. I flash pod you out, then throw some poo at you while I begin sleep arrowing the beast.
He falls into a slumber as I prepare the obnoxiously large (seriously, how do I carry two of those barrels with me) bombs upon the face of the Pickle and begin to charge my shot, only for…
YOUR FAT SACK OF ADORABLE TO COME RUNNING IN THROUGH THE BOMBS, KNOCKING ME OUT OF DRAGON PIERCER, AND THUSLY VIOLATED BY A PICKLE AS YOU CLAMBER AWAY TO EAT MORE ROCKS.
Capcom, why must you be evil geniuses sometimes?
© Post "To the Dodogama in the Tempered Pickle Event:" for game Monster Hunter World.
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