Overwatch

Dear Overwatch

Overwatch5 - Dear Overwatch
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Dear Overwatch

I've been playing this game for the past 3-4 months on the EU server. I just wanted to highlight some of the beautiful things I come across during capture-the-point CP matches which I find rather entertaining.

Lobby:

  1. 2 players always insta-pick DPS. Followed by a 3-4 second delay, to which another player follows with another DPS
  2. Orisa is picked after a player on voice chat 'kindly' insists that one of the DPS (usually the last one to pick DPS) changes to Orisa
  3. I sometimes hear a nice "Hello", followed by another 2 "Hellos" followed by either Italian or Spanish or Russian
  4. The Russian players on voice chat usually have a washing machine or siblings voices in the background
  5. The player with the good-sounding mic is usually a streamer trying to climb out of ELO hell

Match start:

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  1. The Reaper/Mcree is already on the way to the enemy team's backline. Death ensues, followed by a wave of "I need healing" pings
  2. The Orisa immediately tosses out the shield, and the adamantium-inducing fist. The enemy Junkrat is kind enough to shower the Orisa with some unexpected presents from the top
  3. The healers (myself included :D) hastily follow after the Reinhardt who is graciously shielding us, leaving the DPS to fend for themselves
  4. The Reinhardt charges in, with no indication. Then, a heavenly just-entered-adolescence voice appears and gently asks why no one is following
  5. The Reaper/Mcree responds with another wave of "I need healing" pings

Attempts to capture the point:

  1. After a few failures, we start seeing tips and tricks from team members on how to capture the point, how to play a character, how to acquire a terminal disease, when they last saw your parent, among other things; really educational
  2. 30 seconds remaining: one of the players decides to encourage us with some tough love
  3. This encourages each of us to rush the point one by one, and with the time running out, each member desperately switches to a DPS as a life-line

End of match:

  1. The score appears on the screen, and a few concluding words are shared regarding our play style, mothers whereabouts as well as a diagnosis for a medical condition

Love you guys; stay frosty

Warm regards,

V3rsX

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