The game does not want me to win. Subtitle: Come on, Eileen! (tons of end-game spoilers) (PS4)

Subnautica 10 - The game does not want me to win. Subtitle: Come on, Eileen! (tons of end-game spoilers) (PS4)

i want to preface this by saying that up until this point, the only extreme weirdness i've faced (outside of T-posing crabsnakes and a spadefish in my base) has been (1) the game jolting me out when i tried to save, losing an hour or two of not-that-important exploration and (2) my containment fauna (including two cuddlefish) disappearing after loading my save file (though i got another cuddlefish later as well as an additional egg from a time capsule).

but now that i'm at end-game, suddenly it's gone mad.


Incident 1:

i get the enzymes for the sea emperor eggs, follow the babies, cure myself of the bacteria (in the mountains zone rather than the tank), and turn off the gun. i then return to the sea emperor chamber to collect my cyclops and make my way back slowly to the surface… but after i enter my cyclops, the game jolts off. no matter, though. i didn't lose that much data (only had to recollect last enzyme ingredients), but it did succeed at scaring me.


Incident 2:

now i'm saving frequently. i get the last ingredients, make the enzyme, cure myself, shut down the gun, return to the lava zone, bring my cyclops slowly up to the surface, and put together the neptune rocket, saving each step along the way. it turns out at the end, though, that i'm ONE kyanite short and i'll have to go back down to the lava zone. i decide the easiest way is to swing by the mountains arch, since it's only a few hundred meters from one of my seabases and teleport back through the sea emperor leviathan tank. and while i'm at it, why not snag a reaper scan? so in a 5-minute span, i save, get my reaper scan from Eileen (the nearest reaper), flee (she's absolutely LIVID about being stasised and scanned), teleport to the sea emperor's tank, grab some kyanite in the lava lakes, and teleport back. outside a couple titaniums i could get anywhere, i have everything i need to beat the game. my cyclops is right there, so i jump in and sav… except my game jolts again and i lose both my scan and my kyanite. (to be continued.)


Incident 3 & Finale:

NO MATTER, i say. first thing's first: reaper scan. but Eileen is not. having. it. i get the scan with low health and heavy prawn damage, but Eileen follows me all the way to the alien arch. i hear her roaring as the teleport loads. here's where things get weird. back in the safety of the creepy-ass sea emperor pen, i repair my prawn and save, feeling calm. but as i head forward, i'm greeted by a fully living sea emperor leviathan and 5 unhatched eggs. (no way. there's no way. i saved… so many times.) i scan my body, and it confirms that i'm cured. ok… i get back in my prawn and ascend to the lava zone, only… like the sea emperor, the primary containment forcefield is once again active and i can't get through (keep in mind i'm playing the PS4 version and don't have commands). i quit and reboot the game, but the forcefields and creepy sea emperor with eggs are still there.


i decide to use one of the other 4 arches, and i remember there being one in the bulb zone not too far from the mountains. i head back through the teleporter and during the teleport i'm serenaded AGAIN with Eileen's roars, this time combined with some prawn pain noises (it sounds like the game thinks she's carrying me around in her head jaws, but the screen is only green teleport). i materialize at the arch (which is surrounded by enzyme from the original set of hatched babies) and find i am indeed damaged (Eileen!), but i escape with my grapple and head to the bulb zone.

things get weirder.

it takes me forever to find the bulb zone arch, and my prawn takes a lot of damage from bonesharks so i have to repair it multiple times. i start to worry about my own food and water. that's when i notice that neither gauge has changed the entire time i've been searching. neither gauge is at 100, but neither is moving (whatever, i'll take what i can get right now). i find the arch, but the other forcefield in the primary containment is still active so i can't get out into the lava zone.

new plan: approach from the river. i take the lost river warp with my prawn and descend to the inactive lava zone to grab some kyanite.

(cue: Finale)

i return to the teleport and am back in primary containment. i can't remember which arch goes back to the bulb zone, so i pick a random one that could be it and it's the mushroom one (close enough). from there, i grapple-hop my way back to the cyclops and take it back to my west grassy plateau base (where my neptune launch platform is). by the way, i'm saving about once per minute at this point.

i grab some titanium outside of my base by hand. actually, i notice at this point that it's not just my hunger and thirst, but even my oxygen level is frozen in place. interesting. i have all of the materials now, and after ignoring another spadefish wiggling around in the air on the inside of my base, i swim invincibly up to my neptune launch platform… which… is now spinning and flipping rapidly in place. i'm bewildered but determined, and when the platform eventually slows to a halt, i confirm that one edge is peppered with floaters. i pick off the ones i can, but some of them are inside the metal. the whole launch platform is listing about 20 degrees in the direction of the sparse reef.

i complete the rocket (which is standing diagonally), climb inside, fill a time capsule with floaters, a message that reads "MAYDAY! MAYDAY! I repeat, MAYDAY!", and a picture of my spadefish intruder and launch the rocket. it passes my mind during the countdown sequence that if the sea emperor leviathan and eggs are still alive, the quarantine gun might still be active (is this what they mean by 'psychological horror?').

somehow, the rocket escapes the planet and the credits roll.


actually, i've been writing this as it's been happening (from right after the beginning of Incident 3), and my nerves still haven't calmed down.

i don't normally leave broadcast TV on, but i'm going to make an exception right now so i can get my emotions together.


i won.

and i don't know who is reading this, but i say this as a warning:

don't. mess. with. Eileen.

i think i'm gonna go take a shower and cry.

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